In other articles, we have touched on the reality of toxic people, those people who, although they usually do not have bad intentions, manage to get the worst out of those around them.
However … What are the signs that help us recognize toxic behaviors or toxic people? Let’s see below.
What characterizes toxic people?
As a psychologist, I am not very much in favor of labeling people, let alone when those labels are negative. In fact, it seems that the concept of “toxic person” has appeared in certain types of literature as a way of cataloging the personality of certain individuals, and it is rarely explained that character and habits can be changed.
Therefore, a person can cause discomfort to their loved ones under certain circumstances, however never make the mistake of thinking toxic people can’t change. We can all change, absolutely anything. Someone may even see you as a toxic person, so you need to relativize this label and give it new meaning, which will help us escape situations that make us suffer, but not as a way to despise or stigmatize someone. a.
Toxic personality: sometimes it’s worth getting away from it all
Who hasn’t had a cynical boss, a hateful coworker or a brother-in-law who keeps telling us what to do? Fighting toxic people may be inevitable in some contexts. But what we can control is how we manage their behavior.
If we do not act with the proper precautions, negative people they can come and influence and make us feel bad. In addition, we can build up tension and stress because we have to live with it. More than enough reasons to try to get rid of this psychological burden.
Here, I offer nine signs that should warn you that a toxic person is consuming you. It’s time to put black on white, because nobody has the right to hurt you.
1. You talk a lot about the toxic person
If you notice that you are constantly complaining to your colleagues about the manipulator who is your office manager or complaining to your partner about the harm your mother-in-law puts on you at family gatherings, you should know that this attitude vhas mentally exhausted, and of course will not help to improve the situation.
Talking about the toxic person over and over again only lowers your self-esteem and makes him or her more important than it really is. You’re not going to fix anything by turning it over, and you might start to get annoyed by someone having to listen to your constant moans.
2. It makes you lose your papers
If your daily life is affected by a manipulation expert or by people criticizing you from behind, you should know that toxic individuals can affect your emotional balance. You have to be careful because it is easy for them to get frustrated and even angry. If this happens, it’s time to act and fix the problem.
3. Your self-esteem suffers
Toxic people are generally rude, rude, and can be very offensive and annoying. Sometimes their degrading treatment of you can make you feel bad, however. remember that your worth as a person should never be subject to opinions (And much less insults and harassment) from someone other than yourself.
4. You blame them for your behavior or attitude
If a poisonous person manages to pass their hoop and manipulate you, there may be times when you constantly blame this person for the decisions you make and all the bad things that happen to you. If you think the toxic person is responsible for everything, reconsider the situation. Maybe you are just blaming him for shirking your responsibilities. This is your life, and if there is someone who has so much power over you, you better try to step back and start accepting the responsibility you have for your own destiny.
5. The problems have the toxic person nearby
If you are horrified that you think you have to spend time with this person, there is no doubt that, at least for you, this individual is toxic and has the capacity to create great discomfort for you. So just by anticipating that you will have to meet this toxic partner in a meeting, you are already starting to have negative feelings, this is a definite sign that something needs to change in your life.
6. You lower yourself to your level
When someone constantly takes you away you might be tempted to step into the fabric and start to. This will cause you to have responsive attitudes and behaviors that are unlikely to match your personal values. Falling into the toxic person’s game may be inevitable if it takes us to extremes, but it is not the way to resolve the situation. In fact, you’re probably only making it worse and more desperate.
7. It prevents you from being relaxed and comfortable
When we are harassed by people who manipulate us or use twisted strategies to demotivate, we can reach a point where we feel in a state of constant tension and worry. I when we are restless it is easier for things to go wrong for us. If you fail to keep a cool head and put the situation in perspective, the toxic person will devour the soil. This is why it is important that you manage to emotionally distance yourself from the source of the toxicity.
8. Reactions with dysfunctional coping mechanisms
When we live in a constant state of tension, we can react in a negative way. For example, to alleviate the discomfort we feel, we can indulge in unhealthy “whims” like drinking a glass of alcohol every now and then or eating more than we should. It’s a crazy way to overcome feelings of anxiety, and it takes you into a vicious circle from which it will be very difficult to escape.
9. It also affects your partner emotionally
The toxic person may be something like an authority figure (a boss, a teacher, your parent …) that you cannot question. If this happens to humiliate you and your level of emotional wear and tear increases, you may make the mistake of shifting your focus of discomfort to our partner, our children or family members. Bad moods are rampant, and if you let the toxic person infect you, it is possible that you will become a toxic person to our loved ones and hurt people who are not to blame.
10. Look for the confrontation
Many people are encouraged to socialize precisely to seek confrontation in order to have the opportunity to show their superiority over the person being attacked. In these cases, of course, we can say that we are dealing with a toxic person, so there is no reason to continue to prolong these social interactions.
Manage the presence of toxic people in your life
If toxic people get the worst of you you will have to consider some kind of change in your life.
This can go through a simple change of mentality: not going into the fabric of their manipulative games or ignoring their presence, for example. In other cases, the best decision may be to get away from this hotbed of negativity and crankiness before it ends up affecting you seriously.
- Skeem, Jennifer L .; Polaschek, Devon LL; Patrick, Christopher J .; Lilienfeld, Scott O. (2011). Psychopathic personality. Psychological sciences of public interest. 12 (3): pages 95 to 162.
- Trnka, R .; Balcar, K .; Kuška, M .; Hnilica, K. (2012). Neuroticism and valence of negative emotional concepts. Behavior and social personality: international magazine. 40 (5): pages 843 to 844.