Fear is the emotion that paralyzes us the most and limits our lives. Beyond that, other crippling and distressing emotions such as insecurity or states of anxiety are also forms of fear. What does it take for us to live a life constantly conditioned by our fears?
The impact of fear on our lives
Fears are the most common problems of people who want to experience real and profound changes in their life, whether in relation to their own well-being, their personal or couple relationships, social difficulties or even at work or initiatives. It is a slippery emotion, and it is very difficult to detect these fears, to understand them, to know their meaning (which really scares us) and especially to overcome them. But the problem is not the fear, but the way you understand and deal with your fears.
Fear is a basic emotion and it is natural and necessary to feel it. As a psychological phenomenon, it protects us from many harmful factors. The problem is when we have created, almost always unconsciously, a multitude of fears about situations which are not really dangerous and condition our lives. Fear of losing, of loneliness, of not feeling capable …
This fear it ends up transforming into anger, insecurities, arguments, discouragement, or especially in this so common paralysis when it comes to tackling problems or doing what we really want and that makes us happy.
Over the past 10 years, accompanying people in their change process as a psychologist and coach, I have come to know and work with the most common fears. All of them can be summed up in the 7 Great Fears. Let’s see what they are and how to start overcoming them; and, if you wish to take this step, you can register for free on Emociona’t dins empoderamientohumano.com, a first step to start your process of change to understand and know how to manage your emotions.
The 7 most common fears
Here are the 7 most common fears that arise naturally at certain times in a person’s life:
1. Fear of not being able to fail again
When it comes to challenges and projects, this fear is often a crippling force when it comes to doing what we really want. We live with the idea of our incapacity or the possible consequences, And fear tends to cripple us to save us from these consequences. But the truth is, we’re never 100% ready to face something new, and what we consider failure is part of that learning.
2. Fear of loneliness
Human beings are never alone. We are social beings, and the quality or quantity of our relationships depends on our openness and trust. Paradoxically, the more we are wary, the more we are afraid of loneliness, and this leads us to isolate ourselves or, on the contrary, to try to keep people (like the couple) according to our fears and insecurities and through frequent discussions or requests.
3. Fear of death (own or someone else’s)
Death is a natural process we live with. Our society or our way of life tends to isolate us from this process, which scares us even more.
4. Fear of losing control
The control we have over our lives is actually very limited. We can make decisions, but at the same time, we are affected and conditioned by many factors. This lack of confidence in life it usually makes us want to control the uncontrollable. When this is not possible, the fear tends to intensify. We want to control our children, our partner, our relationships, our items and possessions, our status, etc.
5. Fear of loss
Personal or material is another form of fear of losing control, but geared towards what you lose, Which implies that we live with the belief that we own something or someone.
6. Afraid that everything will stay the same
When we don’t like our situation, we fear it will continue like this. It causes the validation of fear with the mere passage of time, and we see everything more and more dark. In turn, this fear he has something positive about it: he helps you engage in your own personal change.
7. Fear of losing security
We tend to believe that living safely is the key to happiness. However, life is pure insecurity. We don’t know what will happen at some point, and the way we deal with this surprise conditions our lives.
The fear of losing security makes us seek it with such ardor that we always feel dissatisfaction, frustration, anxiety and therefore even more fear.
Personal development improving the relationship with one’s own fears
What are these fears leading you to? What do you lose by having them? What would your life be like differently if you learned to understand them and manage them so that they did not condition your life? And above all, how to overcome them?
In reality, fear is necessary and it is not possible to leave them forever. The key is to have a functional relationship with your fears, so that they warn you about what is really dangerous and what is not and know how to understand them and deal with them functionally (which is really useful to you and takes you to the well. – being and improving your relationships or your professional life).
It is not something that is done simply by educating us about the objective risks (estimated according to the probability) that what we fear will happen. Having data doesn’t have to translate into a change in the way we relate to our emotions.
This is what you realize if you experience a process of change, in which this personal transformation stays with you forever, as you have learned mainly about yourself. This form of learning has a theoretical part, but above all a practical part based on new experiences. Without it, personal development is meaningless; and that’s exactly what the “training” sessions we work with psychology professionals consist of.