Lack of motivation to achieve their goals it is one of the most frequent obstacles complained of by those who turn to counseling. They argue that it is impossible for them to perform certain tasks because they do not have enough desire or because they do not feel qualified to do it.
Lack of motivation as an excuse
Typically, these people have already tried performing mental exercises such as thinking positively or visualizing what they would like to accomplish, achieving very poor results or just getting nothing, with the resulting frustration after verifying that their expectations were not met.
And it is that just by the fact that we think about something, no matter how much we insist, it will not happen. The formula most likely to give us the expected results is the one whose action is the essential variable.
Believing that in order to do something or to achieve certain goals we need to be motivated is based on a mistaken and limiting belief. If we think of it this way, we are delegating our possible successes to very volatile factors.
The importance of habits
Maybe one day I wake up with great motivation and another day I don’t show up or expect it. This, like wanting to do something, it depends on many factors, some of which are ours and others that are foreign to us. Maybe I get a little headache or my head is angry and it discourages me for the rest of the day and I decide not to go to the gym or go to study or go for a walk …
On the other hand, if we observe how our mind works, we will find that the more we repeat an activity, the better we will be given to do it. If we practice a little daily with a musical instrument, it is likely that after a few months we will be able to obtain melody and in a few years we will be able to play several songs. If we write a little bit every day, it is more likely that we will gradually get better texts, which we will become more and more passionate about. If we go to the gym several times a week for a few months, we can feel better and have stronger muscles.
In all of these examples, what happens is that by taking small steps, we have built habits that will help us achieve bigger goals later. What if we think that in order to go to the gym we must first have good muscles, will that sound absurd to you?
The key is in the word mentioned above: habits. It is about creating routines in our lives that become pillars, stable foundations, which help us, more likely, to achieve what we would like to achieve.
We have to start from the smallest so that later, almost as a natural consequence, this breakthrough becomes bigger successes. We cannot run a marathon by just training for a week in our life. We must start from small and affordable goals and behave as if they are part of our repertoire. A small advance every day creates greater advances and as a result, the much desired motivation arises in our minds. Without looking for it, without mental exercises, by proving to yourself that you are capable of doing it.
We must fight without forcing ourselves. To strive is to build up a little strength every day, without exhausting yourself, without getting frustrated. Forcing yourself would mean doing more than we can. It would be wanting to achieve the goal without the process, which would lead us to generate false hopes that would bring us back to the starting box, definitively moving away from our motivation. And this is where the paradox lies. If we insist that what we are trying to achieve happens spontaneously, it will be less likely to come to us.. However, when we focus on the process, changing little things, unlocking happens.
The change in our approach leads us to a change in our perception, in our way of feeling.