Understanding personal crisis: “Who am I?

Personal crises occur when we experience a change in our life and it is difficult for us to adapt. A time when reality clashes strongly with the expectations we had placed in ourselves and what we hoped our life would be like.

We feel that we do not have the necessary tools that allow us to integrate into a new reality. This feeling of emptiness and insecurity leads us to ask ourselves questions such as:

  • “Can I?
  • “Is this what I want?”
  • “What makes me happy?”
  • “What do I need?”
  • “Who or how am I? »

Characteristics of personal crisis

In most cases, when it comes to a personal crisis, the answers we give ourselves are vague and this creates insecurity. A feeling of loss, bewilderment, which makes us feel dislocated and disoriented.

A stage opens where everything generates doubt, uncertainty and we do not feel safe in the face of the surprises that life throws at us. Personal crises occur as a result of many situations (accidental events, health problems, social or family relationships, financial or romantic problems).

To help you understand what can bring you into a personal crisis, I will explain two of the main fears that frequently arise and that lead us to it:

Fear of abandonment/rejection

If in your life you have experienced abandonment or rejection (by your parents, your friends or important references for you), you are likely to develop this type of fear. To avoid facing it, we end up turning into chameleons, that is, showing what we know receives approval from others.

This leads us, over time, to lose our seal of identity“Am I who I want to be, or how do others expect me to be?”. This is one of the first questions we ask ourselves, the answer to which, on many occasions, leads us into this type of crisis.

    fear of failure

    “The triumph of the true man rises from the ashes of error.” This quote from Pablo Neruda invites us to reflect on our conception of failure. For many people, failure comes with “I can’t do it”; “I’m not good at this”, “I’ll never make it” and a long etcetera that only distorts reality.

    We have to work on this concept and understand that to make mistakes is to learn, and learning evolves. A personal crisis can arise if you don’t move forward with your life for fear of making a mistake and reaffirming that you are not ready to lead change.

    However, we must understand a personal crisis as part of our evolution. It allows us to adapt to the different stages of our life, it helps us to stop time and rethink our priorities and our needs. It also allows us to analyze where we want to lead our life and what are the goals we want to achieve as well as the limits that will allow us to have control over our happiness and well-being.

      What to do

      When you feel you may be going through a personal crisis, it will help you to keep the following aspects in mind:

      1. Prioritize

      Take time for yourself, you need to find yourself, connect with you so you can project to the world who and how you were. Find a time each day when you can relax and focus on yourself.

      2. Share how you feel

      Sometimes we find some relief in sharing our worries with people who know us very well. Maybe they our pueden ayudar to go around our life trajectory and remind us of what characterizes and defines us.

      • Related article: “The importance of expressing your emotions, in 7 keys”

      3. Read something about it

      There are many self-help books that can invite you to ask yourself the right questions and accompany you in this process, where you can feel identified, and learn what are the main tools that can help you reorient your life. .

      4. Work on your self-esteem

      Make a list of all the successes you have achieved throughout your life, from small accomplishments that may seem insignificant to you, to those that you fought for with great effort. Then, in each of them, list the qualities that you possess and that allowed you to achieve this (discipline, consistency, intelligence, skill, charisma, etc.). Thus, you will learn a little more about yourself.

      5. Find a psychology professional

      We are mental health specialists and psychologists can help you find the answers that are right for youaccompanying you on this journey of self-discovery.

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