70 sarcastic quotes from the best thinkers, comedians and philosophers

Life is not always a path of roses and we will not always do things the way we want, Because sometimes we can cross someone we don’t like, or someone can cross our path, and for some reason we don’t adapt.

Sometimes sarcastic sentences are a good way to say things that can hurt indirectly and in a smarter, more fun way.

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Table of Contents

Big sarcastic phrases for life

Sarcasm often uses clichés to make jokes, so no one should be offended by some of these quotes. Humor is a form of communication in which there is transgression.

In the following lines you will find a list of sarcastic and biting phrases that can be funny.

1. Some smoke, some get drunk, some take drugs, and some fall in love. The truth is that everyone is destroyed in their own way

Love can sometimes end with a lack of love, which can lead to health problems just like drugs.

2. Sometimes I need what only you can give me: your absence (Ashleigh BRILLIAN)

If you do tell someone about it, don’t expect an overly kind reaction.

3. I have no hard feelings, but I have a good memory

You can try not to hold a grudge, but sometimes the memory gets out of hand.

4. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I wanna have it without dying (Woody Allen)

Poor Woody prefers to be able to share his successes.

5. Your heart is as busy as your phone line.

Referring to someone who is in love with another person.

6. Account! The happiness of two, the envy of thousands

When all is well with you, there will always be those who wish you well.

7. Sometimes I think about who will fall into your arms and I don’t know if I should laugh or feel compassion

When someone leaves you and blames you, but in reality the culprit is the other person.

8. Very educational television meeting. Every time someone turns it on I go to another room to read a book (Groucho Marx)

One of the most famous sarcastic celebrities.

9. Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they will never be disappointed.

Those who live in the present moment have more opportunities to be happy.

10. I wanted to ask you the number of your exes to form a kind of support group

An ironic quote that can upset anyone who is told.

11. History has taught us that man and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all alternatives. (Abba Eban)

Irony in the face of the prevailing political war.

12. Create memories and they will make you cry

The past must be forgotten because it can harm their happiness.

13. I looked for you in the dictionary … and you don’t want to say anything

For those people who hurt us.

14. Why should we accept potato sex advice? If you know anything about sex, you shouldn’t! (George Bernard Shaw)

He would have violated the law of celibacy.

15. I told him “bring me what you want” … and he just told me some lies (Ray Charles)

In reference to a lying person.

16. Love now, pay later

Lack of love is one of the most painful experiences a human being can have.

17. You let me down so many times that I learned to fly

When your partner disappoints you several times, you finally come to accept it.

18. There are three things that always stand out: the Sun, the Moon and the truth.

The truth can hide for a while, but not indefinitely.

19. Women Are Like Dolphins: Scientifically Proven To Be Too Smart, But Few Understand Them

An ironic quote on a sexist subject and the complex relationship that men and women can have,

20. Can you help me find something? -What? -All the time that I wasted with you

Ideal for those relationships that didn’t end badly.

21. Love is the son of illusion and the father of deception (James Scott)

Love is a feeling that floods us and makes us feel really good.

22. You are a perfect artifact of flaws

A play on words that contains a touch of irony.

23. The problem is, people know little but talk too much (Kurt Smith)

Ignorance often makes us believe that we know more than we know.

24. I am an expert to show that I care about the opinions of others

There are people who know how to act very well when they are surrounded by other people.

25. If it’s love, I’d rather watch TV, it’s more educational and less possessive

Love can sometimes go unrequited and cause great pain.

26. Many people decide to spend fortunes on their marriage because in some cases it is the last happy day of their life.

An irony about married life and marriage.

27. If you think of the latest Coca-Cola dessert, I love beer

This means that being the last person in the universe, you would have nothing to do with that person.

28. No one has dominion over love, but he dominates things

Love occupies our life when it presents itself, because it is a very intense feeling.

29. Sorry, I thought it was the love of my life … Then!

When you lack patience with someone you’ve been with.

30. If someone is unfaithful to you, you will want to throw yourself out on the balcony, but remember you have horns, not wings (Woody Allen)

An ironic quote that deals with infidelity.

31. I’m responsible for what I say, not for you to understand (Bob Marley)

We can send a clear message, but if the other person doesn’t interpret it the way we want, then there’s nothing we can do.

32. Love is like war: easy to start, hard to end

A comparison of the couple’s relations with the conflicts of war 33. She believes to be a princess and does not know in which bed she left the crown

Compared to a woman who thinks the world revolves around her.

34. Sedentary lifestyle is dangerous … It produces horns! (Will Smith)

The lack of sexual relations between the couple can lead to infidelity.

35. Saying goodbye was as difficult as writing this sentence

This means that in reality, it costs him nothing to separate from this person.

36. Your eternity only lasted a few months

Compared to a relationship that didn’t work out.

37. Someday I’ll start what ended

A sentence that talks about procrastination and leaving things for tomorrow.

38. Dear Cupid, no more aiming next time, to see if you give with the

An irony about unrequited love or love that hasn’t worked.

39. If love is blind … why is underwear so popular? (John Goodman)

A fun reflection on sexuality and intimate relationships.

40. The queen cannot be forgotten, playing checkers

For those men who can’t get a woman they’ve loved out of their heads.

41. There are several ways to invoke the devil: with a ouija, a prayer, an exorcism, or by asking “are you angry my love?” (Andreu Buenafuente)

When a couple ends badly, there isn’t exactly love left between the members.

42. I hated you as much as I loved you

It may happen that the more you want, the more that person rejects you.

43. It is rude to say “I love you” with a mouth full of lies

For those who have serious difficulty not lying.

44. Be careful, any of these days you will tell me to my heart and this will seem busy

A warning that you will not be waiting for this person forever.

45. If you do not fulfill, neither illusions nor promises

It’s painful when someone tells you what you want to hear but doesn’t comply.

46. ​​One day you’ll notice your kids came out pretty ugly and you’ll wonder why you didn’t marry me (Jon Lajoie)

An ironic message that you are in love with this person.

47. A word of advice: in the future, try to be less intelligent … sorry: obvious

When someone wants to hide something but doesn’t understand.

48. Love is blind, let it pass

a comparison of the proverb “love is blind” with true blindness.

49. If you don’t like what I am, change yourself

One way to tell the other person that you are comfortable with who you are.

50. The woman who is lucky with men does not know how lucky she is

Some relationships are very complicated.

51. I used to cross the ocean for you, today I don’t even cross my fingers (Dave Hughes)

There are people who, over time, disappoint us.

52. The number of problems you could solve with a chainsaw is unbelievable

An irony that can appear in times of interpersonal conflict.

53. Tomorrow I will take your opinion into account, today I am not interested

When you know you’re right, but the other person doesn’t want to see it.

54. I don’t understand people who are happy and don’t know me yet, I really don’t understand them

A typical irony of a narcissistic person.

55. There are people who, from the first moment you see them, know that you want to spend the rest of your life … without seeing them again.

When someone doesn’t fall in love with you and you’d rather keep them out of your life.

56. Tell me, does your pride kiss better than me?

This phrase can be said when the person is fully confident in the way they are to kiss.

57. We are all fools sometimes, but some people take it as a way of life. You, for example

A polite way of telling someone their attitude isn’t the most appropriate.

58. You are living proof that a man can live without a brain

As in the previous sentence, a very polite way of telling someone that you are not really smart.

59. Wait for me, the one I get from you

It’s not one of the more sarcastic phrases on this list, but if used well it can come in handy.

60. It’s all about laughter, sex and fun until you wonder… what are we?

There are people who just don’t want anything serious with anyone.

61. I searched on Google: “Infidelity” and guess what … I found your name

A fun way to tell someone who is cheating deep down.

62. The world’s most effective laxative is called “we need to talk” (Dave Chapelle)

The phrase “we need to talk” can worry people who are hiding something.

63. Criticizing My Flaws Won’t Diminish Yours (Jack Black)

There are individuals who prefer to project their failures onto others.

64. My tears are 1% water and 99% your imbecility

When the person making you cry is immature and they are to blame.

65. Don’t worry about what I have, do it for what you lack

Free interpretation.

66. The problem with sarcasm is that sometimes people reject me and because I care a lot about their opinion, I am very sad.

It is ironic to tell the world that you are not going to cry no matter what they say.

67. No, really, keep telling me your story. In fact, yawning is my favorite way to show how interested I am hearing from you.

For when someone is bothering you and you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

68. You were the best part of my worst mistake

We don’t always find the right person for love, but we learn from everything.

69. Turns out your opinions don’t work well, you better use mine

When the opinion of others is not good, this phrase can be used.

70. What would life be like without the ability to make stupid decisions (Doctor House)

A good way to look at life with optimism and not to feel failed in the face of mistakes.

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