Sexuality is a phenomenon and can be considered an important part of our personality through the intervention of biological, psychological, social factors… It is, in short, a complex concept in which the mind and the body play an important role. .
If we talk about sexuality, we must also talk about eroticism, intimacy, desire and pleasure.; it must be borne in mind that beyond the reproductive function, it fulfills a vital affective function, and it is necessary to know the meaning of concepts such as biological sex, sexual orientation or gender. And, only if we take all of these factors into account, will we understand our sexuality in all its fullness, as that intrinsic aspect of our being that shapes our personal and social life.
And if sexuality is so important and so complex, how can we experience it fully and in the most rewarding way? The answer lies in the technique of mindfulness.
Sexuality is in the brain
The concept of mindfulness applies to many, if not all, aspects of our lives. Sexuality included. The technique of mindfulness consists of become able to get all the attention on what we do. If it is a sexual relationship, it will be about merging mind and body and surrendering to the relationship and the experience consciously and completely.
Fighting against the growing tendency to trivialize sexuality in indoor sex or simply masturbating with another person’s body, sexual mindfulness techniques will allow us to focus on the present moment, the magical moment shared, to enjoy to the fullest and experience pleasure in all caps.
Focusing on the here and now will be the keyand mastering the technique directly results in more intense pleasure, longer orgasms and better erections.
Human sexuality is in the brain, and that means we have the ability to enhance it. It’s not just an instinct, it’s an attitude and an experience that we can learn to live from another place.. Mindfulsex helps to overcome sexual dysfunctions such as anorgasmia, vaginismus, aversion to sex, lack of desire, erectile dysfunction and percussive ejaculation.
One of the most immediate effects we can achieve with the practice is to reduce rumination: what thoughts arise when we have sex? “I won’t measure up”, “he won’t like what I do to him”, “what if I don’t attract him”, “I smell bad”,… how do these thoughts make us feel? Maybe distressed, sad, frustrated, upset and stressed. Mindfulsex helps us become aware and nothing else, without making judgmentsjust be and open to the experience as if it were always the first.
Get all the attention in the sexual realm
Meditation and mindfulness exercises have been widely shown to improve the quality of sex. These exercises can be multiple and varied, adapting to each person and each couple, but their essence can be summarized in the following items:
1. The importance of breathing
If we start with relaxed, fluid breathing, the body and mind will acclimate. Our goal in breathing is to truly stay in the here and now, and become aware of our emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Coordinating the breath with the partner will generate an effect that enhances sensations and a sense of intimacy and deep connection, where there is nothing better to do or nowhere to go, just be here breathing, feeling, letting it all happen.
2. Conscious Communication
Communication is an art and a training, from calm and mental clarity we can express what we feel and what we really need; non-violent communication generates harmony, openness, trust, well-being and connection. Expressing what I love and being grateful helps cultivate intimacy and enhances eroticism.
3. The challenge of learning to feel pleasure
If we seek full sexuality, we must be able to learn how to enjoy it. As we are usually trapped in our thoughts, we have our bodies asleep.
Learn to identify sensations, govern the senses, identify with pleasure and awaken our senses this will lead us to experience sexuality more intensely.
From theory to practice
Aware that speaking theoretically is much easier than putting all your attention into practice, let’s recall some guidelines. Some actions or examples of behaviors that will lead us to sexual well-being.
Yes, the breath should be emphasized as it plays a crucial role in both meditation and sexuality. During all the phases of sexual intercourse, good breathing will allow us, on the one hand, to maintain the rhythm that each phase requires, and on the other hand, show our level of excitement to our partnerwhich will allow us to better understand each other and to generate a link.
It is very important to be able to detect the feelings of our partner, to know when his level of excitement increases; and vice versa, let our partner know when we will climax. Breathing will be this silent speech so necessary for the success of sexual intercourse.
2. Consciously kiss and caress
Focusing only and exclusively on every kiss and every caress we give is going to have a boomerang effect: everything we give is going to come back to us, because we will have reached full concentration and this will open the door to pleasure.
3. Forget orgasm to achieve it
It is common to be so attentive to the moment when one is about to reach orgasm that it causes a disconnection with the rest of the pleasant sensations. Mindfulness teaches us that it’s about enjoying every touch on our skin and living here and now. The path is pleasure.