Sex: 5 reasons not to have sex

“Sex is the funniest thing you can do without smiling”

“Woody Allen.

Without a doubt, sex is a source of positive stimuli, self-awareness, Varied pleasures and an activity which by the release of dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin contributes to increase the well-being and the self-esteem.

But there are times when sex becomes our enemy, a “task” that is linked as a cause or a consequence of low self-esteem.

5 times sex can lower your self-esteem:

1. Infidelity

The first case is the most talked about since monogamy was practiced. From Sternberg’s perspective of the love triangle based on intimacy / passion / commitment, it is understood that a couple who shares these three axes should not have any flaws that would cause them to seek out emotions and feelings. sensations in another sexual partner.

Infidelity is a hidden action, outside the confines of a previous pact, an attack on the couple’s trust and of course, generates feelings of guilt and in most cases anxiety and low esteem. of yourself to feel that these betray someone you love, so that your self-esteem worsens when you see that you are not showing positive attributes like loyalty, empathy, sincerity and loyalty.

Did you know? Introverts they are more likely to be unfaithful…!

2. Sex to increase social self-esteem

Social recognition releases dopamine and endorphins, so a very powerful extrinsic motivation is to take action to get people to identify you as a successful and successful individual, someone alpha and many people use sexual success. as an immediate stimulus for their social self-esteem.

In this case, there is also a “reification” of the sexual partner, because he becomes a simple number, a tool to stay at the top of the social pyramid which values ​​sexual success as a merit to be considered.

While it is true that this assessment helps to improve self-esteem, it is a double-edged sword, as you build self-esteem on the basis of external assessment and you will generate sexual and social identity. dependent on this appreciation. In other words, it’s more than self-esteem “,other esteem“So it’s very unhealthy and makes us captive to the opinions of others, putting aside our own sexual identity and being slaves to what people expect of us.”

Did you know? Self-esteem also has one sexual dimension I it is defined as the security or confidence we have in sex.

3. Sex as a way to get affection or attention

If in point two we were talking about the individual having sex to gain group approval, in this case it is people with great lack of affection and that from experience they have learned that in many cases before, during or after sex, they get this condition even if it is for a short period of time.

This usually happens in cases where self-esteem is very low in addition to having a small social circle or a few low social skills to seek affection from their environment. So, to achieve this ailment, they exchange sex during a time of interest or affection.

This is one of the thorniest cases because the person must learn to ask for affection in his environment when he needs it, to assert himself more in order to be respected and especially to love himself more. It is precisely this profile that most often becomes a “number” in the list of those who use sex to increase their social self-esteem.

Did you know? It is proven that there are tips to dramatically increase self-esteem in a week.

4. Sex addiction

Like everything addictionsWhenever you fall for the behavior that you are addicted to, there is a drop in self-esteem and a feeling of emptiness and guilt. In addition to a fact which is popularly unknown and is that the addict (or hypersexual) has such a consciousness that the pleasure is minimal.

In addition, this addiction falls into the category of behavioral addictions such as addiction to work, the Internet or high-risk sports, where the addiction is not to a substance per se but to substances that are generated in the brain. during the exercise of the activity.

As with all addictions, there is one psychic dependence, An increase in tolerance and abstinence syndrome. As a result, having sex as a compulsive activity completely loses its pleasurable side.

Did you know? All behavioral addictions are linked to a low level of self-control, not only behavioral but also emotional.

5. Sex so as not to face problems

Another that has to do with couples. All couples have conflicts. Without exception. Accepting it is a necessity in order to be able to build a healthy relationship. Some of these conflicts are so complex that people find themselves completely unable to resolve them, even though the unresolved conflict can turn into a time bomb.

Well, many couples mistakenly learn that sex is room ideal for covering up this conflict and ending the discussion with a sex session. As if this sex, for pleasure, meant that the conflict had ceased to exist. And, in the most behavioral way possible, they usually incorporate sex into their ritual. problem solving.

This negatively influences our self-esteem in the medium and long term, because the conflict that we do not know how to resolve will periodically occur in our life as a couple, becoming an element that can directly affect self-conception.

Did you know? Couples therapy, in a very high percentage of cases, aims to help couples to improve your communication.

Leave a Comment