10 basic rules for effective assertiveness

Assertiveness does not consist in saying everything that comes to mind or, on the contrary, in relegating everything to knowing whether or not what we want to say may or may not make the person you are talking to feel uncomfortable. It consists, in any case, of a balance between these two poles: saying what must be communicated, and doing it in a respectful and empathetic way, trying not to generate unnecessary discomfort.

This is why the key concept when developing assertiveness is “efficiency”: we must ensure that our most relevant ideas and opinions are conveyed, but without wasting time or resources in an uncontrolled way. or in a way that could lead to avoidable conflicts This is why in this article we will review the basic rules of effective communication.

    How can you be effective in communicating with others?

    Follow these tips for assertiveness to help you communicate with ease.

    1. Be clear about the ideas you want to communicate

    One of the first rules that we must keep in mind to improve our assertiveness is to be clear in advance about the ideas that we want to communicate in the conversation that we are going to have.

    To achieve this goal, we can write in advance in a notebook or notebook the main ideas or concepts on which our speech is going to be developed and memorize or review them beforehand; even though do not try to memorize exact sentences, only the ideas to be expressed.

    As public speaking experts know, the important thing in developing any speech is to have a clear outline of what we are going to say and how the key ideas of what we want to communicate to our interlocutor are linked.

      2. Do not criticize people but their actions

      A characteristic sign of good assertiveness appears in people who, when criticizing, they focus on the actions or arguments of the people in front of them and not on those particular people.

      Personally criticizing the other person in the middle of a conversation is a sign of low assertiveness and a lack of argumentative flexibility, so always remember to focus on the arguments and not the people making them.

      3. When Criticizing, Offer Alternatives or Solutions

      Whenever you intend to criticize an idea or an approach, you must be able to offer an alternative or a solution to those you criticize, because if you don’t, your criticism risks losing its legitimacy.

      Again, being able to come up with other alternative arguments or different solutions to the same problem is one of the basic signs of assertive people and an unequivocal sign of ability and flexibility in oratory and counter-argument. respect those who think differently or whom we consider to have made a mistake.

      4. Set a deadline and time to communicate what needs to be said

      Assertiveness is about resolving, finding solutions, and communicating what we want to say at a given time and place.

      That is why a useful rule that we can follow to be more assertive is to establish a date and deadlines to communicate everything we want to communicate to other people, accepting and communicating it beforehand to said or These persons.

        5. Avoid procrastination

        One of the keys to being assertive is to communicate a short, concise and direct speechwith which we catch the attention of our audience and is easy to follow for the people who listen to us.

        Equally important is clarity, that is, saying things in an effort to be understood and avoiding overly complicated or complicated wording or words.

        6. Restructure negative thoughts

        Sometimes they can approach us with negative thoughts about ourselves or our speech, harmful ideas that cause us to lose confidence in ourselves and in our approaches, ideas or arguments.

        To overcome these types of thoughts, we must learn to deny them through a rational analysis of them and convert them into more positive and adaptive thoughts that allow us to gain confidence in our abilities and motivate us to continue improving ourselves. as assertive speakers.

        7. Stay calm

        The most assertive people are those who are able to communicate their speech in a calm and without losing control in the face of the unexpected.

        We can achieve a state of calm in several ways, the most common of which is to practice relaxation techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, or mindful breathing techniques.

        8. Improve non-verbal language

        Non-verbal language can be of great help to us to express everything we need to say and it is an excellent tool to highlight the most important parts of our speech.

        Practicing good non-verbal language consists of knowing how to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, maintain an attitude of listening and attention, and maintain a relaxed posture with a correct and upright posture.

        Bibliographic references

        • Dowd, TP; Tierney, J. (2017). Teaching Social Skills to Young People: A Step-by-Step Guide to 182 Basic to Complex Skills and Useful Teaching Techniques. Boys City Press.
        • OnlineRojas, D. (1994). Executive communication techniques. McGraw-Hill Interamericana.

        Leave a Comment