We can all agree that none of us like to feel jealous. However, it is a fairly common emotion that almost all of us will experience at some point in our lives. In addition, jealousy can appear in very different situations, such as in the context of a couple, family or work relationship, among others.
The problem with jealousy isn’t that it pops up once in a while or that we think about it in isolation; the problem appears when we don’t control them and treat others badly because of jealousy. If you feel jealous once in a while, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a controlling or toxic partner. This would happen when you don’t know how to handle jealousy and let it guide your behavior.
Therefore, I think it is very important to learn how to deal with jealousy in a healthy and adaptive way. Also, feeling jealous hurts others, but also hurts ourselves, because it makes us feel uncomfortable with ourselves, have insecurities, etc.
What is jealousy?
The feeling of jealousy can arise when we think that our partner she is attracted to another person or spends time with other people she feels comfortable with. The situation can get worse when we feel that the other is a threat, for example because he has a better job than us or because he has a socially better seen body.
Jealousy is a complicated emotion. It’s a combination of feelings of insecurity, overwhelm, fear and loss. They usually arise when we feel envy and possessiveness towards another person, job, or circumstance.
Jealousy usually manifests in the form of accusations, suspicions, questioning the behavior of the other person or their daily activities and compare themselves to others among others.
The person who feels jealous usually shows resentment, frustration, impatience, anger, and general unease. Additionally, experiencing jealousy can cause symptoms of anxiety.
Ways to deal with jealousy
Now let’s look at 6 strategies for how to best deal with jealousy:
2. Responsibility for one’s own emotions
Taking responsibility for our emotions is essential. Jealousy is our responsibility. Asking the other to do something different so as not to feel jealous is not making ourselves responsible, but making the other person bear the responsibility.
3. Think about what’s behind jealousy
It is important that you can filter the sensations, images, feelings and thoughts that arise when we feel jealous. We can reflect on the sensations, images, feelings and thoughts that cause jealousy. Does the current scenario remind me of a situation in my past? Does the image of my partner smiling at another person lead me to an old feeling? The more we can relate these feelings of jealousy to the past events that created them in the first place, the better we can understand our current situation.
4. He feels jealous
Accepting and feeling our emotions with compassion is a necessary part of the process. Trying to avoid the feeling of jealousy won’t make it less. He will simply look for other ways to express himself.
5. You don’t act
It is possible to accept and acknowledge our jealousy without acting on it. You can learn tools to calm us down before reacting, for example, you can go for a walk or take deep breaths to avoid acting on impulse. Acting impulsively can cause us to berate or punish someone we love.
6. Talk about it
When jealousy takes hold of us, it’s important to be able to express it in a healthy way. Let’s share our emotions puede ayudarnos to stop ruminating on our jealousy. Desahogarse está bien, siempre y cuando se dejar salir nos pensamientos y unracionales sentiments, while recognizing that they are exaggerated and irrational.
7. Go see a psychologist
Many people go to therapy work on topics related to social relations issues. There’s nothing wrong with going to therapy to resolve feelings of jealousy and better understand where they’re coming from.
Finally, I would like to tell you that if you realize that you cannot practice the previous strategies, it does not mean that you are wrong, it may mean that you need professional help to learn how to deal with jealousy. This is not an easy task and many people have to go through a process of psychological therapy to understand where their jealousy comes from and put in place strategies so that it does not appear.