Over the years, the idea that finding a suitable partner for us, getting married and starting a family is part of what is generally meant by “happiness” has been passed down from generation to generation. It is a cultural phenomenon based on the concept of the orange circle, according to which each person is incomplete if they do not find someone special for them.
Contrary to this preconceived idea, we must keep in mind that having a stable partner is only one of the options we have in life and that there are many other ways to be happy without having a stable couple relationship. Let’s look at the various reasons why the most recommended thing for our sanity is to assume that having a partner isn’t essential (although that doesn’t mean we condone the possibility of dating or to start a romantic relationship).
Why is it not necessary to have a partner to be happy?
People who do not have a stable partner are perfectly capable of finding happiness in many areas of their lives, and although this same happiness can also be found by those who live in marriage or dating, singleness offers us endless daily possibilities.
Below, we will briefly see the reasons why it is not essential to have a partner to be happy in life.
1. You have time to focus on yourself
People who have a partner have less free time and can rarely focus exclusively on their personal plans, dreams and ambitions.
Any couple relationship is based on mutual understanding and carrying out all kinds of activities always thinking of the other and keeping in mind that any decision must satisfy both parties. It involves commitment and effort; if this effort is not produced symmetrically by both parties, problems arise in the relationship.
When we don’t have a partner, we have all the time in the world to think about ourselves and embark on all kinds of personal projects that fulfill us and make us happy. It means having almost total freedom to undertake any type of work, work project, study, hobby or lifestyle that interests us.
2. Self-actualization focuses on the individual
One of the main reasons for being alone is that we can find happiness within ourselves, this is where we realize that we don’t need a partner to fulfill ourselves as human beings.
Happiness can be found in many places at once, both in one’s own work or future professional projects, as well as in friends, social life, hobbies, family, studies or sports. Of course, these contexts should not always be devoted to activities that can only be done as a couple.
Happiness is intimately linked to the possibility of immersing oneself in a way of life that gives us meaning; it is an introspective and private process, which normally does not require the participation of more people. In this sense, celibacy is fully compatible with this process of finding meaning and experimenting with what we do.
3. Provides more leeway to pursue financial freedom
In the same way, without a stable partner, we can count on sufficient energy and time to, for example, focus on our professional life for a few months or years and then enjoy some financial freedom. These lifestyles, based on radical changes between one stage of professional life and another, are much easier if you don’t have a partner.
If it is true that with a partner we can do the same, it is clear that in a couple relationship we would not have as much time or as much energy to devote to the professional field.
4. Knowing yourself does not require the presence of another person
Deepening the self-knowledge necessary to connect with our own values and interests and seek happiness from them is not a process that requires us to be in a relationship. Yes, it is generally necessary to have regular contact with other people (to know our different facets through them), but not necessarily one in particular.
The free time that not having a partner gives us also allows us to devote ourselves to knowing ourselves consciously, which will allow us to discover who we are and what our desires in life are, as well as our goals, interests and Hobbies. .
5. Don’t underestimate friendships
Some couples usually find it difficult to meet their friends frequently, due to daily obligations in the workplace and also the need to spend time together.
On the other hand, the idea that friendships are a less satisfying version of couple relationships is a myth; there are qualitative differences between the two things, and both have things to offer.
6. You can invest more time in growing as a person.
Getting to know ourselves is also a good way to know our strengths and weaknesses, as well as the strengths and weaknesses of our personality.
This will allow us, in the end, to improve and grow as a person on a daily basis and to work on the defects that we may have both emotionally and psychologically and in interpersonal relationships.
7. You can shape your future
As stated earlier, being alone allows us to make our own decisions in life, and also to take the course we decide about our future.
Couples usually have to make joint decisions about the future together; without embargo, when you don’t have a partner you have a lot of leeway to build the life you want.
This means that we have complete freedom and flexibility to, for example, travel to any part of the world whenever we want or go and live in the area of the city that we like the most.
Do you want to boost your self-esteem and your personal development through psychological support?
If you are interested in professional psychological help, contact me.
My number is Lorena Irribarra and I am a Psychologist and Certified Mindfulness Instructor; I offer psychotherapy services and training in self-leadership, self-esteem and Mindfulness MBSR.