Being jealous is as common as being afraid. Being a little jealous is not so bad for the person who feels it, because it revives the desire, and it is not so serious for the one who receives the jealousy, because he feels valued. But jealousy can be experienced as hell and lead us to delirium as we imagine it, to sink into deep anguish, to become mad with rage, to excesses and consequently to addictions.
Sometimes we think that jealousy is the way to realize that we love the other and that we don’t want someone else to want it, nor that our love has desire for another person and/or thing.
envy and jealousy
The truth is that we cannot speak of jealousy without understanding its double, envy.. We feel envy when we are excluded from the joy we want to possess. Jealousy appears in a love triangle, while envy can lead to hatred towards the other. Everything that makes the other greater, some experience it as a decrease in themselves.
We can therefore deduce that envy can appear after jealousy, because this other has a joy that we do not possess. Envy points to the impossible, that is, to have what the other has, while jealousy arises from the fear of losing what one already has.
The soul of the jealous
The soul of the jealous oscillates between love, hatred and envy. Therefore, jealousy is more complex than envy. The jealous is envious of the one who attracts the attention of his love object and hates his lover because he feels something for another. However, at the same time, his desire increases and he wants to possess even more of his beloved.
For this reason, which is maddening in my way of seeing it, the jealous person can go from the strongest union, to an immense abyss of separation, in a few seconds. Jealousy does not support the slightest alteration of the bond which unites it to the other.
Jealousy is passionate
Jealousy makes us feel humiliated, hurt and angry. feel jealous opens the door to our imagination, the jealous person looks for concrete evidence, on a phone, on a piece of paper, in anything, to put an end to the feeling of lack of control that invades him. The loss of control is an unbearable feeling.
Personally, I can’t stand jealousy or jealous people, it motivates me to work with my patients and help them to be safe, independent, with a defined yoic structure, and to accept the obvious that you can’t act on the will or the desire of the other. Once they understand this, they live more calmly and happily.
The anger of the jealous
The anger of the jealous causes an agitation in the body, and he searches for proofs, the more he searches, the more he thinks he finds. The opposite of this anger is that the loved one becomes more desirable at the same timebecause the loved one wants to go out, and some perverts use this as an aphrodisiac, which serves them to maintain the couple, but only for a time.
Is jealousy a disease?
Although jealousy is normal in a two-way relationship, the lack of control they cause if they become something permanent feels more like madnessfor the imagination can fly very high or lead them directly to hatred.
Jealousy leads one to depend on the other, to heated confrontations, even to a separation that can lead to the destruction of the other or to a crime of passion.
Sometimes the jealous thinks and feels ridiculous; and the guilt appears, added to the jealousy which does not leave him alone. Jealousy is far from being a pleasure, it devours us and ends up making us melancholy.
Loving someone always makes us a little more vulnerable and we are exposed to passionate anguish. We are afraid that the other will disappear, so it is normal to be jealous. Jealousy becomes pathological when you lock the other in a space where you can only see the reflection of yourself and your own insecurity.