And you… can you communicate?

Sharing with different people is very enriching; however, differences always result in exposure to error that is easy to understand, but hard to bear. Often things are said that should not be said, or more is said than the narrative, without explaining well and generating great controversy; sometimes it’s not what is said, but how it’s said, how those feelings and emotions are expressed…

Communication is the only way to interact with others, and it should be assertiverespecting this difference that exists in the other human being.

    Learn to adjust our communication strategies

    Every word that comes out of our mouth is accompanied by an intention. It can be to destroy, to build, to hurt, to heal and even to curse and bless, but each is part of the communication that takes place; not only with the couple, but also with anyone around.

    Nowadays we have many means of communication: verbally, with gestures (non-verbal), letters, chat, voice notes, emoticons and more. But he does not stop communicating; the downside is that now communication is not asserted, everyone interprets the information as they see fit, and that’s where we have a big problem today.

    All things are solved by talking. However, no matter how many words, ways and intentions you have to communicate, if the recipient is unwilling to accept and analyze the other’s point of view (which is totally different), you will never be able to communicate assertively, there will never be a solution to the existing inconvenience, since the perception of the other is marked by the circumstances experienced.

    Therefore, it is important to emphasize the importance of making the decision to be empathetic when someone is speaking at the time of communication; this it will allow you to enjoy healthy relationships, less problematic and much healthier.

      But… Is it easy to communicate?

      The truth is that yes; however, you must be very attentive to this verbal and non-verbal communication. For example, a car communicates with the directional and fixed lights when it is going to turn, stop or park.

      When you are going to turn right (for example) put the turn signal on the right, but what happens when the driver is distracted and instead of putting it on the right, he puts it on the left? He will confuse the drivers behind him, often causing accidents and incidents on the road, simply because he is entertaining himself and not paying enough attention to what he is transmitting. But if the driver is attentive and sends the right message, he will probably have no incidents and will avoid many accidents, it’s as simple as that! It simply fails because the receiver is distracted, entertained, or thinking about their perspective of the situation; in this way, it does not manage to understand what the sender wants to transmit to it.

      Likewise, when the sender transmits information, he often does so with fear, filling himself with thousands of assumptions about how the other may think, assume, react to this information which often transforms the lives of both from of that moment, that’s why they end up omitting important details, giving half-hearted or totally different information from what his heart desires simply out of fear.

      Fear plays a fundamental role in communicationsince we live in a society where the person who thinks differently is judged and not allowed to freely express their feelings, desires, dreams and emotions because it’s just crazy.

      Communication interceptors are:

      • Thoughts unrelated to what is being said.

      • Desires and perspectives of what we are talking about.

      • External agents: mobile phone, television, music, video games, tasks, people.

      • Maybe you are interested: “The 10 basic communication skills”

      Ask yourself!

      • How many times have you been afraid to say something because maybe that word, thought, or emotion could end your relationship?
      • How many times do you no longer speak, but act out of inertia or habit?
      • When was the last time you voiced your desires, without fear?

      If we are talking about couples, communication is vital for the existence of this bondbecause as the relationship matures, it becomes more necessary to pass on information.

      One example among many: many couples stop communicating the desire to be intimate and when the time comes, they simply swing on top of each other, without preamble, without courtship, without preparing the ground beforehand. ; perhaps the bullied couple does not verbalize their desires, but their silence grants the actions, and these generate voids that will never be filled.

      What voids? Feeling used/or by your partner and that’s when relationships start to break down due to lack of communication, consciously and/or unconsciously because of this situation.

        The keys to good communication

        • Look into the eyes while speaking
        • Speak without fear and with love
        • listen carefully
        • Find spaces to talk
        • Don’t waste a lot of time communicating how you feel or what’s bothering you.
        • Do not communicate things in public
        • Privacy and Limits
        • Leave the prejudices
        • do not judge
        • Respect differences
        • reach agreements
        • Question Do I understand what I just said?
        • Ask for forgiveness if necessary, forgive and be ready to change

        Another fundamental thing is respect; respect the differences between the feelings, emotions, ideas, ideals, dreams and points of view of the other it will make every relationship healthy and communication can be affirmed. Many times we say something and we don’t understand, this is the importance of asking ourselves if the message we wanted to give has been well received.

        Often we need help learning to communicate, do not hesitate to seek a professional who guides you in this area so important for life.

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