Is loneliness possible in a hyperconnected society? Is it true that this evil is shaking our society in a worrying way?
Today, everything is done to facilitate accessibility to communication and exchanges between people. However, for the WHO, loneliness is one of the greatest risks of deteriorating health today, due to its implications in many facets of our lives that influence a deterioration in the quality and expectancy of life. . .
There are countries determined to tackle this kind of problem, such as the United Kingdom, which has set up a Ministry of Solitude (headed by Minister Tracy Crouch), or Japan, which, due to the “Kodokushi phenomenon” , sees so many people died at home alone, so his government decided to create residential complexes with specialized care.
How do you manage to lose connection?
Maybe you’re always connected to social media, hang out with friends often, have a busy schedule of social activities … or isolate yourself at home. These seemingly different endings are actually two sides of the same coin., that of the loss of connection.
If you feel that you are not connected to others, you will probably feel lonely; you will notice that no one understands you or that you do not understand others, that everyone approaches out of interest, that love is not real, that relating to others does not make sense, or that you have to make a profit so it’s worth it to relate to someone.
Our relationships with others are often a reflection of what we have within us. In this case, we have sort of lost touch with our feelings; we may have intentionally broken or succeeded in silencing this inner pain, and when we stop listening to it, it is as if we are putting our hearts to sleep and becoming more numb or cold.
Corn those invisible barriers that keep you away from yourself and others are protection. This weapon is often too sophisticated and is refined to offer more protection. What works first, then makes you fall into the trap of isolating yourself somehow; at first you will feel lonely, and over time you will stop enjoying a lot of things, mainly on a social level, so you will cut off contact, reduce it or leave it on a superficial level, Total, you will feel alone of the same way.
The consequences of this phenomenon on our relationships
On the one hand, we are social beings, and on the other hand, we are helpless beings who need protection until we grow up. In short, we all need healthy, secure and stable bonds in our membership group.
If we don’t have this, we will lack a foundation of trust that will lead to dependency relationships, superficial or harmful with its consequences. Between them mistrust is common, but seen as something very deep that can nestle within us and hinder our path even without realizing it.
It will not allow us to love ourselves as we deserve, and it can do us a disservice; from losing the connection with ourselves to losing it with our feelings, which would be like stopping communicating with a part of us. Or even lose touch with others later and feel life from afar or afar, as if even good things cease to resonate with us.
It can make you feel cold; in situations like this you don’t want to feel your pain and other people’s pain less. It also makes you lose the connection to your deepest feelings. But your void will still be there, and you will try to cover or fix it, even if that won’t be enough.
Then we run the risk of becoming self-destructive, begging for crumbs of love… And perhaps the most important characteristic, we become wary and with a perception of which relationships are a little or quite dysfunctional.
How is the connection generated?
The lowest common denominator of connection is communication. According to scientific studies, the first bond we form outside the womb is through contact and then looking with those who are usually with our caregivers. We share this with many other mammals, and it allows us to communicate beyond any verbal communication: it is the “I know that you are there, I see you, I recognize you and we are close, you count on me, we are part of something together “.
We can therefore understand a link as a deeper connection and deduce that to generate a connection, even if it is more superfluous, a glance or a friction is enough. For example, love at first sight, as in fairy tales or the movies, is based on stories that run deep into our understanding of love and cause us to idealize what an attractive appearance can accomplish.
It is easier for this spark to arise with people like us, with whom there is an innate component of understanding, empathy or recognition of the other person in the perception of similarities, which makes us more confident or better. connected with the other person. But it is also created by meeting the other, by sharing experiences … In short, communication on a real and deeper level creates connection.
Thus, the experience of not being or not feeling connected to others, as we see it, can manifest in various ways on a daily basis. Some will be more visible, such as not having people around, and others may obscure this same reality, such as being around people often or having a lot of friends on Instagram.
Through emotionally manage these situations, reconnect with the world:
- Face what you don’t want to hear in yourself.
- Allow yourself to dig deeper into the people around you.
- Change the mistrust to learn how to choose who you trust.
- Don’t hide your feelings, accept your real “dark side”.
- She is committed to having quality, real and deep relationships.
??Accept that it is better not to take risks, because when we stop feeling, we stop living! There are no bad feelings, only real ones; listen to what they have to say to you, connect.