When nudity is only part of our intimate sphere, we can feel vulnerable by showing our bodies and genitals in front of each other, making us more sensitive to possible fears compared to the assessment that the person in front of us can make of it.
Depending on our social, cultural and/or historical framework, our experiences, or our own expectations or those placed by others, the link we establish with and between our bodies is defined.
Social dynamics that feed the complexes with our body
Society promotes rigid and unrealistic canons of beauty that only designate as appropriate and desirable those bodies that remain on its margins. In this context, however, and despite all these requirements, we can research and diversify our body referencesin which we see ourselves reflected, emerging from these rigid structures.
These aesthetic canons also apply to the genitalia; however, in this case, there is an additional complication, since… Where can one go to find different reference models?
Looking for new references
The nudity of the genitals is intimate, little exposed at the audiovisual level or photographic, and reduced almost exclusively to pornography, which, far from showing the great and wonderful bodily and genital diversity of human beings, shows us very small and concrete models of what they should be in those parts of the body.
In this way, we grow up without any reference to this diversity, creating an imaginary of what is desirable and worthwhile, making us believe that the genitals can only respond to these parameters and that what does not correspond to them is not not only not beautiful, but also not fair or appropriate.
The few role models we grow up with only show a glimpse of our great genital diversity. Human beings are characterized by their diversity and, as with other parts of the body, the genitals also reflect it.
Although references to majorities or tendencies are sometimes mentioned in comparative terms, reality shows us that all bodies and genitals are ready to give and experience pleasure: there are no sizes or shapes of genitals more appropriate than others when what is sought is pleasure, just as there are many other sources of pleasure in our bodies beyond these- ci (by exploring with the five senses, you can find that pleasure, enjoyment and eroticism do not only depend on the genitals).
Beyond false homogeneity
In short, diversity is the very essence of being human, which is reflected in every part of our body (ears, hands or fingers) and, of course, also in the genitals (varying in size, shape, color , smell , etc.) We are the result of a sexual process that will always result in a body prepared for pleasure and for interpersonal and erotic relationships.
Sometimes social frameworks cause us to think or feel that this diversity is not a positive thing.when they mark a single model as valid or teach us only one type of reality, we can come to experience this difference as a “deviation from what is normal”. However, it is the fundamental characteristic of being human; this is what makes us unique.
What is normal is difference, and it is precisely this difference, the strange thing about each of us, that attracts us to others.
In the same way that there are as many realities, experiences and experiences as there are human beings, there will be as many body shapes and genitals as there are people. Our body is unique, our sexuality too.
Author: Ana Antelo Pousa, sexologist and general health psychologist.