Facebook jeopardizes our relationships

We have talked a lot about whether the Internet and new technologies isolated us or not. This is natural, given that the image of someone giving their full attention to a screen is very iconic and striking.

However, there is a debate that has opened more recently: Can social media like Facebook jeopardize our romantic relationships, whether or not we break the rules we have set with our partners?

Some research, such as that published in the journal Cyberpsychology & Behavior, indicates the possibility that Facebook acts as an engine of couple conflicts and episodes of jealousy that would not have appeared if this social network did not exist. Let’s see the reasons that can happen.

The seed is insecurity, on social media

Insecurity and a poor self-image are, in and of themselves, ingredients that can lead to very intense couple seizures. The fact that we don’t trust ourselves too much can cause us to lose trust in others, causing us to think that being above us will take advantage of the opportunities they have to deceive us.

In the case of relationships, the same can happen, but with an additional problem: distrusting others and feeling insecure or insecureAnd the stereotype of couple roles as a relationship dynamic in which you have to control the person you love, can lead to a false sense that you have the legitimacy to try to control the other person. Of course, this not only harms the relationship, but leads to actions that violate the couple’s freedom and cause them suffering that cannot be justified.

Too much information?

What does Facebook have to do with this? Well, basically this social network can be a factor of insecurity, anxiety and mistrust.

On the one hand, Facebook is flooding us with information about the other person. Information that we probably would not have “discovered” in a context of face-to-face interaction with the other person, but which is also extremely ambiguous, not being in context.

Having a lot of information that is also insufficient to understand what it refers to can be the bomb that detonates all insecurities and fosters mistrust, because this forces us to mentally complete the incomplete data that comes to us… which does not always lead us to pleasant conclusions. In a way, the fact that the most pessimistic and alarming explanations lead to greater excitement and greater emotional charge overshadows the nicer assumptions and loses their importance: they may be the good, but … what if they are not?

Some examples of breaking up a couple

In a 2011 study published in Anthropological Quarterly, you can see some examples of how insecurity and having incomplete information can lead to love conflicts. In this research, a series of interviews were conducted with several people who said that Facebook had been detrimental to their relationships (some of them even deleting their profile on this social network for this reason).

Some of the answers given refer to photographs, which most often appear out of context to most people. This leads to thoughts like, “When and where was this photo taken with her?” or “why did you stand by her side to take the picture?” You may also wonder if the person in question is still attached to your ex-partner or interacts with any of their messages, and it can even cause anxiety to see that the other person regularly knows and interacts with a stranger that we consider very attractive or attractive.

These are situations that alone do not lead to mistrust, but can give rise to a dynamic that forces people to consider all the options in order to fill in the missing information. And, as far as the first pessimistic explanation seems, doubts are already appearing: rationality and Ockham’s razor have little power in the face of irrational fear.

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