Over the past two decades, eThe pace of life in society has accelerated considerablySo much so that we could say that the philosophy of the current human being has become to immediately achieve all kinds of goals, whether material or intangible.
At first glance, this important level of motivation to achieve a (supposed) greater well-being (a better job, a family or a perfect partner, enviable hobbies, the maximum of friendships or contacts on social networks) can sound positive., etc. .). However, when the balance between this motivation and the excess of self-demand is lost sight of, all of this can lead to the opposite effect: lingering fears and worries.
Fear and control
In his work, Guix (2006) notes the strait link between the existence of fears and the need to control the different personal aspects that make up an individual’s life, establishing a direct relationship between the two: the more desire for control, the more fears, worry and anxiety.
It seems that, internally, the obligation to “surrender” to whatever is offered and has been socialized internally. not be able to “fail” in any of the initiated projects.
Is it good to be afraid?
The answer is clearly yes. Fear is defined as one of the most necessary primary emotions for survival, therefore highly functional. Once upon a time there was this reaction that allowed wild creatures to escape by activating the body and mobilizing it to escape.
Today, having changed the context, the human being it still needs a potential danger warning system the main exponent is the human being himself. Thus, the emotion of fear must be understood as a natural and adaptive phenomenon. What’s really relevant, the key point that attention needs to be drawn to, is in dealing with this reaction and how this fear is handled.
Guix (2006) argues that humans have adopted the erroneous strategy of exercising control as the primary mechanism for dealing with concerns. This methodology has several drawbacks, as control can be performed relatively easily on ‘things’, but it is not so easy to perform the same process when other people are involved, such as it occurs in the field of social relations.
When other people in the immediate context do not respond as one might expect, there is, among other emotions, a fear response. This usually clearly leads to the development of a feeling of mistrust that the young woman in the individual directly or indirectly conditions other present and future interpersonal relationships.
For this reason, such a subject adopts such suspicion as a defense mechanism against the onset of suffering, Ceasing to be aware of his emerging emotional distance from his gradually growing social environment.
Fear Vs. Safety or comfort (control)
Exercising a certain level of control can also be beneficial allows greater self-confidence; maintaining a certain order in the different vital facets is linked to a positive self-concept.
Control generates a feeling of security, because it is generally linked to a psychological state of comfort, a state of comfort. However, by adopting this kind of philosophy, the individual will have more and more the need to control more aspects maintain this level of subjective security, be plunged into an endless and infinite escalation of sources of anxiety that must be mastered immediately.
It seems obvious to think that for more security, the greater the fear of losing it. Thus, uncertainty (the difference between expectation and reality) ceases to be a tolerable phenomenon and becomes an entity to be avoided at all costs. The problem lies in the impossibility of eliminating this uncertainty, because it is something intrinsic to becoming, in the future, as defended by Nardone (2012), an expert psychologist in the field.
Choose your philosophy of life
For all of the above, it is up to the individual to choose between the two alternatives: opting for comfort or opting to overcome fears and worries.
Initially, the first option emotionally relieves the subject, As that unpleasant feeling such as fear or discomfort is avoided. However, choosing this path in the long term leads to greater psychological distress. Instead, the second, more complex option to implement if you can break the aforementioned fear-control-anxiety-avoidance spiral.
To achieve this goal, they will need to modify nuclear beliefs, behavior patterns learned and widespread attitudes towards the source object of this fear.
Types of fears
Guix (2007) in his work distinguishes between real fears (when there is a real threat to physical survival, for example being trapped in a fire) and psychological fears (Where psychological survival is compromised, eg fear of flying in an airplane). These can be classified into:
- Constructed fears, based on mentally constructed social emotions.
- Recollection of fears, reactions derived from past experiences.
- Existential fears, linked to life and death.
- Fears of the unconscious.
They all have in common that they own an object to which they refer, A known object that is afraid of losing, either a relationship to which it belongs (whether it is satisfactory or not), the preservation of life in the event of a car accident or any other circumstance that could endanger it .
The first two are more closely related to the ability that humans have create something initially non-existent, Which ends up being experienced as a real thing, as something that really happened.
Below you can see a series of thoughts and insights that Guix (2006) offers in his work as antidote measures against the virus of fear and worry:
The first step is to ask yourself whether or not you want to overcome these fears. Although it may seem like an obvious question, one of the main obstacles that an individual has to overcome is choose the desire to face one’s own fears. However, it may be that the person prefers to stay in their comfort zone (stay in their already known fears) while avoiding exploring.
This self-knowledge signifies and implies uncertainty (“will I be able to manage what I am about to discover?” Or “do I want to make the effort to change?”). The decision to take the path between safety and fearlessness is one of the most costly and decisive obstacles to overcome.
2. Identification of fears
another of the reflections to be carried out refers to learning to identify what type of fear (or fears) is present and what role they play in the person’s life In the question. Getting such a fear to cease to be functional is another fundamental step in the process.
3. Balancing “doing” with “being”
It is necessary to think about the types of aspects that have the most impact on the emotional well-being of human beings: the material-instrumental or rather the spiritual-intangible. For this, it is essential reverse the principles on which the current social organization is based, Capitalism, by reducing the importance of success and competitiveness to give them aspects related to being and community life.
4. Acceptance and tolerance of uncertainty
The belief that everything is under control it’s nothing more than a mentally constructed illusion to generate calm: it’s just a belief, not a reality, and it can lead to frustration.
This has the advantage that, being something self-made, it can be taken apart in the same way it was created. However, the fact that this belief was precisely its own harvest, entails greater complexity for the individual in the company of its elimination. In other words, we could say that the person ends up falling in love with their own beliefs, Although these are unsuitable.
On the other hand, it seems necessary to embrace tolerance for the unknown and the future, as something natural and intrinsic to human life. And this combined with the limitation of setting excessive expectations in the face of such uncertainty. Finally, the acceptance of oneself as a being who can (and “must”) make mistakes, the permission to fail, or “not to achieve” becomes another of the core beliefs to be worked on in combination. with the above.
- Guix, X. (2007): Get out of hand! Ed. Granica: Barcelona.
- Nardone, G. (1995): Fear, panic, phobias. Ed. Herder: Barcelona.
- Nardone, G., De Santis, G and Salvat Farré, P. (2012): I think, therefore I suffer. Ed. Paid: Barcelona.