Divorce is a loss, a change in our lives, and as such we have to face it and adapt to the new life situation. And it involves relating to others in new ways, opening us up to the possibility of making new friendships and meeting new people.
Although divorce is not usually associated with a good feeling or a good time, it gives us the opportunity to reconnect with ourselves, to do activities that we really enjoy and to meet people who bring us a lot, either for the purpose of finding a new partner or simply making new friendships that help us disconnect and prevent us from sitting at home doing nothing. Divorce is not only the end of something, but also the beginning of something new.
In this article We’ll talk about the post-divorce stage and how to make new friends during this stage.which can be marked by the feeling of loneliness.
Coping with Social Life After Divorce
Divorce, understood as the legal act that separates and breaks the marriage between two people, involves a process, of more or less long duration, through which the two members of the couple go and must go. But beyond the law, it has psychological implications. As with other grieving processes, given the different losses we experience, we will need time to adjust to them.. The time required will vary, depending on each person.
In cases where the subject is unable to control or cope with the situation, the mental health professional may assess the bereavement as pathological and request professional intervention to overcome the loss. For this reason, it is advisable to face the situation and find activities that you enjoy, in order to make the breakup more bearable.
Divorce means a big change, the closing of one stage of our life and the beginning of another; as such can generate in the individual a certain vertigo, fear of the unknown, not knowing if life will be better or worse, if we can adapt to the new situation. But we must consider this new period as an opportunity to evolve and start a new life, without or with a new person.
Tips for making friends after divorce
After breaking up with someone who we have shared a large part of our life with, who we have probably lived together with, shared endless experiences with and even who we may have children in common, we may find it difficult to visualize life without it. But as in other circumstances, the attitude with which we face the new situation will be fundamental in order to be able to adapt to it and be happy.
We can view divorce as an opportunity to take time for ourselves, do what we love, and reconnect with ourselves as individuals, because in many cases when we’ve been with someone for a long time, we lose or neglect autonomy, making decisions for yourself.
Too, Divorce is also about meeting new people; The time we spend with our partner is time we can use doing activities or meeting people. It is common that the friends we had when we were with our ex are friends, or who are still married, for this reason, without the need to completely break the relationship with them, it can be beneficial for us to change our minds and to spend time with other people, that they have nothing to do with our past life, that they help us disconnect completely.
So here are some suggestions that can help you make connections and new friends. Keep in mind that ultimately the intention is to feel good, so take action when you feel ready and follow the tips you see that can benefit you.
1. Sign up for new activities by focusing on what you really enjoy
Doing new activities that we enjoy is a way to stay active, disconnect and at the same time meet new people. As we have already said, the scene presented to us gives us the possibility of doing new activities, devoting more time to ourselves and doing what we love.
In addition, by doing activities that we like, in addition to having fun doing them, it will be easier to relate to other people who have similar tastes to ours and who are probably in similar situations to the ours.
2. Expose yourself to change and lose your fear
We have already mentioned that change usually causes us uncertainty and fear, so it can happen. But this fear must not stop us, it’s time to experiment, to try new things, to do activities we didn’t do before and to evolve in new environments that allow us to meet new people and make new friends. Although it may cost you at first or cause you problems, staying home and doing nothing will not help you in the process.
3. Meet your colleagues
It is common for us to have a friendly relationship with our colleagues, but never try to get to know them. The work environment can be a good option to build relationships with different people, because they are people we spend a lot of time with and it gives us the opportunity to start a conversation with them and establish new friendships we hadn’t enjoyed before.
Sometimes it’s not about meeting new people, but about valuing them differently than those we already know.. We can be surprised by people we already know, but with whom we had not had the opportunity to speak.
4. Take advantage of social media
Social media can give us some hesitation or laziness to meet or talk to someone through these platforms, but they are currently one of the easiest ways to connect and connect with new people and break down geographical barriers. There are different applications, more or less aimed at meeting people, which allow us to know each other’s tastes and have a first contact with them and thus decide if it is worth continuing to meet them or not.
Thanks to social media it is also easier to know the plans, activities, workshops, excursions that are organized and that we can attend. Apps to meet people are not only used to find a new partner, but we can also use them simply to find new friends. It’s a more direct and easy way to connect with new people.
5. Connect with old friends
As we have pointed out with colleagues, we can try to reconnect with people we already know but with whom we did not stay long. Even if it’s not appropriate, when we are in a relationship, we can neglect friendships and lose the relationship despite the fact that nothing bad happened, just because of the distance.
It’s never too late to reconnect. Get closer to them and stay updated and see if you can really rekindle the friendship. During life, we go through different stages, paths that can bring us closer or distance us from people, but it is possible that at some point we are reunited, we can see each other again.
6. Participate in groups
There are surely in your city different groups, associations, people who practice different sports activities such as excursions or dancing, cooking, culture… Find out and register for those you prefer. This will make it easier for you to connect with new people and move around in a new environment. Doing the activities on a regular basis allows you to get to know them and to be able to make new friends.
This type of group will allow you to meet people of ages, of different interests and professions, who are probably in similar situations to yours, who are single and whose goal is to have fun and connect with new people.
7. Don’t be afraid to do things alone
When we have been in a relationship for a long time and have done most activities with other people, it can cost us a lot make our life now independently, with no one to accompany us. Like we said before, the best way to meet people is to join groups and do activities, so go it alone.
At first we might not like the option so much, but going alone is the best way to meet people, because we will get closer and have a conversation with them. Like them, seeing us alone, they are also more likely to help us integrate.
8. Sign up for your friends’ plans
Another option, if you still don’t feel ready to join a group, can be accept plans your friends make with other groups. That is, your group of friends is sure to connect with other people, opening the circle and meeting new people can help you attend activities that organize your meetings with others people, such as meals, excursions, trips, going for a drink…
- Greif, G. and Holtz, K. (2012) The impact of divorce on friendships with couples and individuals. Diary of Divorce and Remarriage.
- Moscovici, S.; Markova, I. (2006). The Making of Modern Social Psychology. Cambridge, UK: Polity Press.
- Vega, MªT. and Cid, I. (2016) I separate What now? Junta of Castile and Leon.