What we call social skills is one of the contents that we intervene most often in the consultation in psychology. These skills allow us to more easily increase our well-being both with ourselves and in our relationships with others. Social skills can and should be learned.
If you are able to use them consistently, you will be able to display them naturally; with almost no effort they will be a habit for you.
Social skills to improve your relationships
I show you below the following social skills to improve your daily relationships, divided according to the phase through which the communication passes.
1. At the start of a conversation
You have to try to express yourself naturally, Show interest and put yourself in the other person’s shoes, be empathetic.
Say hello and introduce yourself (if the other person doesn’t know you). Look in your eyes when talking to the other person. Try to say the positive traits of the other person without being “contrived”. Your goal is to look good on the person you are talking to. It would be interesting for you to comment or ask questions about the reason for the meeting.
Try to modulate the volume of your voice so that it is neither too high nor too low, or to have inappropriate body postures.
2. During a conversation
Listen actively, showing interest. There must be a proportionality between what you speak and what you hear so that you and your interlocutor can both intervene and express yourself.
Use gestures to show you are listening and when you want to intervene. It is very important that you maintain eye contact. What you communicate verbally should relate to the subject of the meeting and avoid “going through the branches”. When you want to change the subject, say so. Don’t just use monosyllables in your speeches.
3. Giving explanations
Explain why you are refusing a request or favor to a friend or acquaintance. You can offer an alternative solution. Distinguish the possible manipulation attempts that can be made with:
- Free compliments (“how are you doing so good …”, “how are you always doing so well …”).
- Empty comments (“I will never ask you again …”, “Don’t worry, I will never ask you for help …”)
- Feelings of guilt (“I didn’t believe that from you …”, “I’m sad because you are not helping me …”).
In these three cases, you have to empathize with the reasons why our friends or acquaintances express themselves in this way, but you must stand firm if you are clear that your position is the right one for your interests.
4. To ask for a favor
It is common to find that others know what we need and / or want. This is usually not the case.
There are times when you will need to ask for a favor and you will need to do so with confidence that your loved ones will respond to your request. Do not immediately assume that they will refuse the favor. And if so, they will surely have good reason to do so.
5. Serenity in the face of criticism
In the face of criticism, don’t get carried away by the initial impulse, Reason, weigh and think about what they are telling you.
First of all, don’t think of criticism as an attack. Your first reaction is probably an immediate defense with a justification or a counterattack. It avoids both counterattack and systematic defense.
This is what I recommend when accepting or rejecting another person.
Life is a paradox. Many times you endure with resignation the people you can’t stand or love at all and yet you attack those you love the most … Is it because you trust? Be firm in these situations, whether it is to consolidate friendships or not to have businesses that do not interest you. For this, I suggest you use the behaviors correctly:
Smile, keep your gaze, position your body towards the other person and demonstrate with words and gestures our interest in what he says or does, etc.
He shows verbally and non-verbally in a polite manner what is necessary for the other person to perceive our sense of disinterest, responding to their comments with monosyllables, removing the gaze, saying goodbye politely.
7. Recognize mistakes
expresses humility and admit you were wrong, we all make mistakes we need to admit because these are mature and balanced people.
Moreover, if you apologize, you will even gain the respect and recognition of society. If you hide the mistakes, you will show weakness.
8. Receipt of recognition
Don’t resort to false modesty when you’re flattered or recognize a job well done. See flattery as being sincere about the people around you who like you.
I recommend that you appreciate and accept the recognition of those who do. Thank and express the great effort and persistence you put into achieving what the other person values.
9. Admit your ignorance
You don’t have to know everything. You must consider that recognize that you do not know the topic being discussed in a conversation, Not bad.
Avoid arrogance and don’t use phrases like: “yes, I already knew …”, “you will tell me …”, even if you knew them in advance. On the contrary, I recommend that you take an interest in what others are talking about, even if you know more about the subject than your companions.
If you aren’t in control of the topic, you shouldn’t get carried away by thoughts such as “What would they think if I said I don’t know …”, “I should know more about …” . Giving importance to these thoughts will not help you.
10. At the end of the conversation
You have to go to gra to end and not prolong the conversation longer than necessary.
Surely you ‘endured’ conversations that never seemed to end. You have every right to choose and sincerely express your desire to end the conversation. That is why you do not find it rude to interrupt those who are speaking to us; believing that he is going to be offended. You have to say something like, “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I have to go …”.