The vast majority of conflicts between people (or companies) are in communication. While we all communicate with other people or groups, we don’t always do it the right way.
Whether it is with your partner, your friends or the employees of our company, communication errors can occur at any time, so it is important to spot them.
Consequences of poor communication
Communication problems arise in all interpersonal relationships and, if not resolved properly, can trigger endless battles and bad relationships, for example with partner or colleagues. Communication involves at least two people, and while it may seem basic, we don’t always consider it.
The importance of communication is such that even psychologists teach their patients social and relationship skills, as the root of conflict often lies in these skills. Likewise, a company can see its bottom line reduced by the bad relationship between colleagues or by the inability to communicate its needs to the workers.
The most common communication errors
Now, what are the biggest mistakes humans can make when it comes to communication? What are the most common communication problems? In the following lines, I explain it in detail.
Some basic communication problems
Some problems that can arise in different areas of daily life (in relationships, among friends, at work, etc.) are as follows.
1. Feel or listen?
It often happens that we think that we are listening to a person and that what we are really doing is hearing. Feeling and listening are not the same. In order to be able to listen, you need to use active listening, which not only pays attention to the words a person says, but also their body language and non-verbal and emotional communication in general.
Active listening improves interpersonal relationships because it improves communication.
- If you want to know more about this concept, you can read our article: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”
2. Say what you think without considering others
In those situations where active listening is not in use, it is common for people to say what they have on their mind instead of giving full attention to what the other person is saying. This is why active listening is important, because it puts us in the other person’s shoes, allows us to understand their true emotions and to catch the message appropriately. It also encourages the other person to understand that we have an interest in what they are saying..
On the other hand, there are many situations in which people already know what to say even before the other party has finished speaking, either because of the prejudices they have or because they are all the same. two in conflict, on the defensive and want to be right. Cost. In this way, it is impossible for good communication to flow and for constructive debate to emerge.
3. Speak or say?
Whether in written or spoken language, it is not the same to say: the important thing is not to speak or write a lot but to do it briefly and precisely. It’s not about using a lot of words but about using the right intensity and depth, to communicate something interesting.
4. Lack of confidence
Lack of confidence can cause us to not express what we want to say correctly and, in many cases, this can lead to insecurity, Not being able to express one’s opinions correctly, not putting limits on relationships and therefore on the proper functioning of communication.
5. Lack of credibility
Just like lack of trust, lack of credibility is also important when it comes to communicating with other people, whether it is with our partner, in a company or during a public speech.
Credibility encourages the other person to feel comfortable and, therefore, increases trust between the two.
6. Lack of empathy
Empathy is a basic social skill that is necessary in order to be able to live with others. It is closely linked to the fact of not expressing only what one thinks, because it allows to understand the other interlocutor and his point of view. It is essential to be able to send a clear and precise message.
7. Bad emotional validation
Emotional validation is a concept that is increasingly used and possessed by people with high emotional intelligence. It involves accepting and giving feedback to others not only in words, but also in non-verbal language.
It promotes good communication, because the other individual understands that he is understood, recognized and understood, and consequently increases his verbalization.
8. Bad non-verbal language
We often pay close attention to words and forget about non-verbal language. According to the results of a survey conducted by Albert Mehrabian, the verbal component is 35% and more than 65% is non-verbal communication. This includes body posture, eye contact, or gestures.
This should happen naturally, but in some cases, such as when we are not relaxed, our nonverbal language does not allow us to convey what we are trying to say.
9. Bad verbal language
The tone of voice, that is, not speaking too loud or too low, dragging words around or using too many filler terms like “ah”, “eh” or “um” can be lost. force to message with caller. Vocalization correctly, a good ability to improvise and ultimately to say correctly what we want the other person to hear improves communication.
10. Reading and writing problems
Good reading and writing skills are extremely important in some contextsFor example, in the digital world: when writing on a blog and forwarding a company’s message to a potential client or when sending an email to a recruiter to seduce them and show them that we are the best candidates.
Not reading or writing well clearly affects understanding and expression of the message in these contexts.
11. Lack of respect
People open us up to others more when they respect usRespect is therefore a basic communication skill that we must keep in mind when we communicate effectively. It is just as important as showing credibility. In a relationship, for example, a sign of affection or a kind gesture shows that we respect the loved one and, therefore, improves closeness, trust and communication with that person.
12. Poor persuasion and negotiation skills
Persuasion allows you to transform ideas, beliefs, behaviors and attitudes, thereby satisfying the needs of both partners, is key in the business environment, but also in everyday life.
Persuasion is the key to negotiation which, in turn, is the key to interpersonal relationships. Negotiating and concluding agreements so that the needs of both are, at least in part, satisfied, improves interpersonal relationships and the fluidity of communication between actors.
Communication skills when speaking in public
To speak in public you must also master a number of communication skills. that captivate audiences and keep them entertained and attentive.
The most common mistakes that can occur when speaking in public are:
1. Lack of initial report
Relationship is a phenomenon in which two people feel in tune both mentally and emotionally. Getting close to the person and connecting with the message is essential, especially when the two people don’t know each other, as usually happens in a public speech or a conversation. exposure. When this connection does not exist, there will also not be good communication.
2. Lack of humor
In a context like public speaking, one of the best ways to communicate with your audience is to use your sense of humor. With a sense of humor, the listener’s ability to pay attention and retain information is enhanced.
When the speech or exhibition is too serious, it is usually boring and does not help communication flow.
- We explain this and other benefits in our article: “The 9 Benefits of Having a Sense of Humor”
3. Rigidity in the use of body language
When the person is feeling nervous, which can happen when someone is facing an audience, they usually express that nervousness through body language. Lack or excess of gestures, poor posture and poor eye contact are some examples..
4. Too much information and too much intellectual content
This can happen especially in oral presentations, when the person making the presentation is inaccurate and concise and does not emotionally connect with the audience because the information is too intellectual.
Too much information becomes boring, And this is a very common mistake when the needs and interest of the public are not taken into account.
5. By step
Fear of step negatively affects communication in different ways, In non-verbal and verbal language. When someone doesn’t have enough self-confidence, the audience will notice and therefore there won’t be a good emotional connection with them.
6. Inappropriate use of silence
Silence can be an excellent tool for public speaking, it is an element of communication in itself, the value can be equated with that of the word; But, when misused, it can be boring and ruin the flow of a speech, conference, or oral presentation..