By being aware of the importance of self-models and values, a relationship can develop in a healthy way, creating a special bond.
For that it is necessary Recognize feelings, emotions and make mistakes. We can never expect our happiness to depend on people; you have to provide yourself, manage yourself and work on yourself, it never works to wait for the other to do what you want.
Every relationship should be united by support, commitment and unconditional love; striving every day to be the best version of ourselves to accompany us with this other through patience, leaving behind the pride that spoils relationships, but maintaining the boundaries that make relationships healthy.
Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Human beings are born with the need to be loved; however, before looking for love, he must learn to love himself, to accept himself and to value himself; when you reach this level, you will always consider the limits of those around you and your own. In other words, boundaries must be clear and respected for the well-being of any relationship, and these are formed by self-love.
When you know a person, you implicitly learn to know their limits, no need to mention them. The line of demarcation in every relationship is drawn from the beginning. However, there are a lot of people who don’t read between the lines and usually go too far. In such cases, it is necessary to clarify these own boundaries in order “to have the party in peace”.
How are the five self-regimes defined?
On the other hand, human being it develops resilience and its self-schemes through lived circumstances; it is these that will determine the evolution of healthy relationships, not only in an interpersonal way, but also in his own way.
Self-schemes shape an individual to face a perverse and egocentric world, from which it is difficult to escape if there is no clarity in what one wants and what one has. It means that the person must appropriate and be aware of the five self-schemes that govern them: your self-image, self-concept, self-efficacy, self-acceptance and self-esteem. Although the most mentioned is self-esteem, it is extremely important not to neglect the other four elements to have healthy self-models, because all five are interdependent, part of the person’s character, of his own connection and with the environment.
- Self-image: This is the criterion of body image that we have of ourselves.
- Self-concept: This is self-reference.
- Self-efficacy: These are one’s own skills and those developed.
- Self-acceptance: This is the unconditional love of oneself.
- Self-esteem: This is the value you have of yourself.
However, it is important to recognize that personal schemas are not only fundamental in every relationship, but also values that are withered and trampled on frequently today are needed. Values and principles such as: respect, trust, humility, tolerance, active listening, benevolence, service, dedication, commitment and love.
Keeping in mind the patterns of self and values discussed above, relationships begin with knowing one’s own limits and the foundation of happiness to recognize that of the people around us, even more so with the partner.
Happiness is a state of mind that is achieved when there is satisfaction and joy in what one is, in what one does and in what one has; it comes from you and depends on you; your partner is only there to complete it and share your joys, your dreams, your ideals and your achievements which are established by mutual agreement.
As a conclusion…
Your partner’s duty is not to make you happy, yours is; it is your duty to work for your inner desires and for your emotional stability.
The person you choose to share your life with is an imperfect human being, full of mistakes, with dreams, desires and limitations, just like you. None will be your sure source, none will be your saviour, since you alone are the one who governs your life, your emotions and your feelings; you alone have the capacity to remake yourself a thousand times; get up when you fall.
It’s complex, but you have all the tools to do it, you are a perfect creation, you own yourself.
A romantic relationship is a decision of two people who will never know each other., since no one has the capacity to do it definitively, because we are changing beings and in constant construction. But they are two people who decide to love each other, to accompany each other and to share a life together in a healthy communion, recognizing that there are thousands of differences, borders to respect and a common feeling: love.
To maintain good interpersonal relationships, it is necessary to work on self-schemes; You can do this perfectly with your therapist.