Could friendship become a negative thing? Several authors have described the influence of toxic friendships to the mental balance of people.
Toxic friendships: realizing the burden of having bad friends
We have all had, on one occasion, a “friend” who has constantly taken us by surprise. For some reason, something in his personality caused him to have totally inappropriate attitudes and behaviors that made us feel bad.
Below we detail seven symptoms that a friendship is starting to be unwanted for you.
1. Non-reciprocity: they receive and you give
If at any time you notice that the balance between giving and receiving is noticeably tilted, being you the contributor and your friend who rarely reaches out, you should review the situation. If, after putting on the table, the lack of balance in the relationship with your friend does not want to change, you can start to think about getting off the ship.
Those types of friends who always ask for your attention but rarely lend it to you when you need it are called out emotional vampires. We talk more about it in this article:
“Emotional vampires: 7 personalities who steal your emotional well-being”
2. They don’t support you for who you are
Friendly jokes among colleagues are not uncommon and most are generally taken well. But when criticism and making yourself uncomfortable is a part of your daily conversation, the relationship will no longer be positive for you.
Toxic friendships can hurt you. Menyscabar your person can be a mechanism your friend uses to elevate their status above yours. It is usually more painful when it happens in public. It’s important to remind your friend that you want to be treated with respect, and if this is someone you want to stay in touch with, give them time to think and change.
3. You cannot trust it with your privacy
A couple or three of true friendships can be the basis of a healthy life. The circle of friends of this type is usually very small, with a select few who have shown over the years that they can be trusted blindly. We usually have a good number of superficial relationships in which we share more trivial thoughts, experiences and opinions, but the few that we share our secrets with need to be really loyal, besides also knowing how to share their secrets with you. .
Since human beings are imperfect and can make mistakes, we should start to be wary when a friend is not paying attention on more than one occasion. In this situation, you need to be honest with him, show him your disappointment, and if necessary, end the relationship or let the time pass.
4. They eliminate the worst version of you
When you are going through an emotional breakdown or having a bad time, you may notice that your best friend is not able to be by your side to accompany you during this trance. They may prefer that you continue to drink, advise you to stay with other people, encourage you to end your romantic relationships without trying to improve the situation, or advise you to have cosmetic surgery to improve your self-esteem. If this is your case, try promoting new, healthier relationships by stopping spending so much time with your old friend.
5. They usually disappoint you
When a friend leaves you frequently to spend time with others, you find it boring, but many accept it as something that doesn’t really matter. If you cancel a trip to a big concert that you’ve also been to because you’ve decided to prioritize a movie date with a possible league, we’re also generally sympathetic. If you lend them money to buy a video game console and they don’t return your money, you should stop lending them money and reconsider that relationship. If these situations occur regularly in the relationship, you will end up getting fed up with his attitude. Experience teaches us that such friendships are difficult to reconcile.
6. They don’t respect your partner, family or children
It’s not an easy task to assess the importance of our relationships when it comes to keeping everyone alive. We trust friends to help us or share moments and experiences. We value people with whom we share opinions, so much so that they give us reason when we tell them our partner is irrational or mean.
Sometimes the friend can exceed certain limits, and it can make us feel bad if criticizes or despises someone we love. Friendships that challenge your romantic relationship can get you in trouble if you break up, especially during times of particular vulnerability. If this happens, you should clarify that it makes you uncomfortable. If the friend turns out to be supporting these criticisms because of their own insecurities or jealousy, you need to prioritize your relationship and the social relationships that support your decision.
7. The friend wants to have a romantic relationship with you, but you don’t.
A lot of people try to maintain platonic relationships with old partners or friends that they would like to date. It rarely happens in an agreed or consensual way, and often the story ends badly and with negative consequences. Corn this is a problem that can be avoided if we impose common sense.
When we’re honest with ourselves, we can give a warning when a friend wants something more than just friendship. When sexual attraction emerges, it is often impossible to ignore this fact and the relationship should be ended unless you feel the same way. The best advice is to keep your former lovers in the past, unless you really feel the need to be with that person.
In short, we must value friendships not for quantity but for quality: The reliable friendships that are by your side in good times as well as in bad times should be nurtured as an essential part of a healthy and happy life. .