The vast majority of parents really try to give their all for their children and do everything in their power to meet their needs, but even parents with better intentions make mistakes and adopt behaviors that are beneficial to the development and well-being of their offspring.
Toxic behaviors of parents
Unfortunately, some parents go beyond simple mistakes and engage in toxic behaviors that seriously affect their child’s growth and emotional health, as the figure of a father can mark their child’s future and is , next to the mother, the most important educational agent for this. Are there toxic parents? And, more importantly, what effects can their behaviors and bad styles of upbringing have on the fragile psyche of children?
But also: What are the harmful behaviors of parents towards their children? What are the toxic behaviors of parents? Below are the 15 most common characteristics of toxic parents.
1. Too demanding
There are parents who are too demanding with their own children and who do not tolerate their failures. These critical parents are overly perfectionists and expect their kids to do everything right, and they think the way to do this is to remember their mistakes over and over again.
This type of behavior can cause serious problems for your offspring in the future and sometimes psychological and emotional damage that can accompany the rest of your life. One of the causes of this behavior can be the father’s low self-esteem, a great sense of inferiority, and even a perfectionist personality.
While many parents have exemplary behavior towards their children, there are others who consciously or unconsciously have a manipulative attitude and deeply harm their children, Because sometimes they can’t escape them. These are parents who, moreover, tend to have this type of behavior with other people and therefore their own children also suffer from their toxic behavior.
Manipulative people are adept at picking up on the weaknesses of others and silently bringing them back to their own ground. In addition, they often don’t stop until they reach their goal, are insatiable and often have a great need for control.
- Do you want to dig deeper into this topic? You can read our article: “Manipulative people have these 5 traits in common”
3. Authoritarian, intolerant and uncompromising
Authoritarian parents are those who force their children to behave in a certain way whatever their needs and emotions, they are intolerant and inflexible and make them feel bad, even showing aggression when their children do not act the way they want them to. This includes taking things out of context and acting disproportionately many times.
These are parents who show poor communication with their children and try to raise children who are obedient, but also very dependent. Being hostile, their children often end up being unhappy or spontaneous.
4. Physical and verbal aggressors
Even though some of us find it hard to believe that there are parents who abuse their children, they do exist.. Some of them resort to physical violence at specific times and others more often. Some of them use verbal abuse: speaking bad manners and insulting. Abusive parents create serious problems in their children’s self-esteem and cause damage that can be difficult to erase from memory.
5. Too critical
There are demanding parents as we said, but in addition, it is also possible to find overly critical parents.. These are parents who rarely praise their children and usually don’t realize that they don’t know that with their continued blame, they end up reinforcing the bad behavior they seek to correct. Criticism leads to judgment, censorship and condemnation, which causes children to be defensive and react with hostility and mistrust.
6. Without love
Children need to feel the affection of their parents, especially when they are lonely. Affection at home can help get you through difficult times and make emotional connections that the child then learns. Family models that are not based on affection and trust can cause problems in children’s interpersonal relationships in the future.
7. Not very communicative
Communication is fundamental in interpersonal relationships because it can avoid many conflicts. But in the case of the parent-child relationship, this is especially necessary as it can help the child feel loved and is necessary for a good education. Uncommunicative parents avoid having conversations with their children and ignore their needs. In fact, parents should not only consider what they say, when they say it and how they say it, but they should also be experts at actively listening to their children.
- To learn more about active listening, click here.
8. Blame your children for their own failures or frustrations.
Some parents are uncomfortable with their own lives, for example, feeling that they are stranded in their job. As a result, their self-esteem may be low and they may be very irritable and not patient. These parents too they can make the mistake of projecting their failures onto the people around them, Especially to those loved ones, like their own children.
9. Project your fantasies or dreams onto your children
While some may blame their children for their failures, others may project their failed dreams or unfulfilled expectations onto the little ones. In other words, they want their kids to live the life they couldn’t. For example, forcing them to dance when the children don’t like the practice.
10. Excessively protective
The vast majority of parents want their children to be well and care for them. But some parents turn this behavior into totally toxic behavior. For example, don’t let them go out with friends for a bike ride for fear of having an accident. This causes their children to become insecure and not develop their own autonomy, and on top of that, they don’t let them enjoy their lives.
11. They don’t accept their friendships
Toxic parents don’t accept friendships from their children because they have expectations about who to mingle with or not. Whether it’s because they don’t have a career, because they have tattoos, or because they’re not the way they want them to be. Parents must let their children live their lives.
12. They plan their professional career
Parents’ concern that their children have the life they want it can lead your children to choose their career according to the tastes of their parents. For example, some kids may stand out as artists and be happy to develop their passion, but instead end up studying medicine and pursuing something that doesn’t make them fully happy. Everyone should live their life according to their own dreams and expectations, and not reproduce that of their parents.
13. They are selfish
We have all known very selfish people in our lifetimes, however. more complicated is the situation when such egocentric habits and attitudes manifest themselves in parents. Selfish parents think only of themselves and cause a lot of suffering to children who may not feel loved.
- Selfish people, like egocentric parents, share certain characteristics. You may know them from this article: “Selfish People Share These 6 Traits”
14. They are a bad role model
Parents are role models for their children and are the most important in their lives, because in them they are reflected and often inherit certain habits, customs and even behaviors. When parents lead by example and are a bad role model, children are at risk of learning harmful behaviors.. This without taking into account the emotional damage they can cause them, for example if they are alcoholics.
15. They are not taught healthy habits
Children are reflected in parents, however. It is especially important to know that parents are educating their children when it comes to adopting healthy habits. Parents who do not have a healthy lifestyle send the wrong message to their children, which can affect their future health.
Not only that, but also when children are very young, they are beings at the mercy of their parents. If they feed them poorly, children can suffer the negative consequences of this behavior. For example, being overweight due to poor family eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle.
How do you avoid a parenting style that is harmful to children?
There is still no definitive parental guidance, as each family has its own circumstances, limits and ways of acting. What we need to keep in mind is what style of education we want to promote and have some consistency when it comes to imparting one parenting style or another.
If parents agree on most of the boundaries and attitudes to promote towards their children, and support the child in a loving and close manner, conflicts are much more likely to take time to emerge, and when ‘they do, they are less intense.