We understand by abuse against men any form of violence, whether physical or psychological, which directly affects the integrity of man and causes damage, material, physical or moral in his life. It involves carrying out deliberate actions aimed at harming a man’s physical or mental health.
Generally, it is understood that women are statistically more likely to experience violence from their partner at some point in their lives; less known are the cases where it is the man who suffers the ill-treatment. However, unfortunately, these types of violent dynamics directed against men are far from a rarity, as we will see. What happens is that this social problem is less visible, even giving rise to the idea that it is absurd to imagine that a man can be subjected to a process of continuous abuse within a relationship. of torque.
Abuse against men in the domestic sphere is usually committed primarily by their partners, regardless of their economic, social, ethnic or sexual orientation, although it can also occur by a close family member.
now good beyond the quantitative, the abuse suffered by men presents certain qualitative differences regarding the abuse of women. Among them is the phenomenon that many men stay in harmful relationships in which they are abused not because they are afraid of physical abuse or don’t know how to physically separate themselves from those who abuse them, but because of other gender-related phenomena. So let’s see what drives many men to endure abuse.
Types of abuse against men
According to a survey conducted in England and Wales in 2017, 6.7 million people have experienced domestic violence throughout their lives in this country and 15% of men between the ages of 16 and 59 are men.
Just as with abuse against women, there are many forms of abuse against men, various forms of violence that they gradually undermine the physical and mental health of the victim.
These are the main types of violence against men that psychologists, sociologists and health professionals have studied; dynamics of violence that can occur separately or interdependently, and which can also be experienced by women.
1. Physical or psychological abuse
Physical and emotional abuse is the most common form of domestic violenceand in England 14% of men in the country have suffered from it since the age of 16, while more than 700,000 men aged 16 to 59 admit to having suffered from it at least once in the past year.
Physical abuse is the most obvious and the one that can be detected most quickly because of the physical marks it leaves; however, emotional abuse can cause more damage to the person and extend over time until it is detected.
2. Domestic harassment
Domestic harassment can be perpetuated by the victim’s partner or a family member and consists of consistently receive threatening emails or text messages, unpleasant calls or treatment at home.
This face-to-face treatment can consist of a lack of respect, serious threats or attempts at aggression, which generate discomfort, fear and suffering in the victim. This type of abuse was experienced by 0.7 men in England and Wales in the past year according to the 2017 survey.
3. Digital Abuse
The Anglo-Saxon term “Digital Dating Abuse” refers to any form of violence between members of a couple in the online environment, that is to say from instant messaging, social networks or any another internet platform.
According to a recent survey, approximately 28% of American minors between the ages of 12 and 17 have experienced this type of digital abuse in the past year by their partners and among men it is more common than among women, and l incidence in the first rises to 32%.
Some of the forms in which digital abuse manifests can be digital harassment or cyberbullying and this phenomenon is strongly linked to the occurrence of real physical violence outside of social networks.
4. Indirect Violence
Indirect violence is that which is exerted not against the person, but against their relatives, especially their sons or daughters.
This type of violence is also widely used against men and there is currently no conclusive data on its incidence among men.
What predisposes men to experience abuse without breaking up the relationship?
These are the main causes that lead many men to stay in toxic relationships and endure abuse for weeks, months or even years.
1. The stigma of emotional expression
The concept of masculinity is linked to the idea that expressing how we feel is morally wrong if we are men.. This in itself is not a cause of abuse and, of course, it does not justify it, but it does make men more helpless when it comes to reacting when they are abused; for example, often they don’t even consider saying that certain behaviors that constitute emotional abuse make them feel bad, so the other person has no reason to think about their actions and take it seriously. repentance.
2. Fear of looking weak
The belief that men are stronger and the stigma associated with violence suffered as a man makes it more difficult for victims to report the abuse they experience, for fear of what those around him will say and because of the shame that being the victim of such attacks can cause them “without having the means” to protect themselves from them.
3. Lack of references
Finally, the lack of male references among known people who break up toxic relationships of this type it makes a lot of men very confused and don’t know what to do when they experience abuse in a relationship.
Are you looking for professional psychological assistance services?
If you would like to benefit from specialized psychological support, contact us.
In Psychoconsultation we can help you in person (in our office in Barcelona) and online.