Why putting limits on relationships is healthy

Put limits on personal relationships it means letting others know that they have wants and needs that are different from their own. But in addition to doing it, we respect each other.

And is that, while setting limits may seem like an unnecessary imposition if we have some conception of fluid personal relationships, the truth is that these kinds of assertiveness-based strategies, in practice, allows us to be more free.

    Why is it difficult to set limits?

    Several and different may be the reasons involved in the difficulty of setting limits:

    1. A biased view of who wants what

    Poor differentiation between self and others, So that we do not know for sure where the own needs and those of the other begin.

    2. Fear of conflict

    The person avoids conflicts at all times by feeling unable to defend their opinions. Consequently we avoid expressing our own opinion and disagreeing with the other.

    3. Emotional blockage in the face of the other person’s anger or rage

    For this reason, in many cases the person is complacent (much to their regret) with the needs of others.

    4. Fear of being rejected by the other person

    It is the fear of emotional, social, family and professional rejection. Fear of losing the other person’s affection and love can also arise and panic can be criticized.

    5. Lack of assertiveness

    Learning to say it can’t be hard. the not knowing how to communicate our limits this can cause us to avoid talking about them, thus reinforcing and sustaining the situation of not being able to expose them.

    6. Low self-esteem

    Feeling without the right to defend your own needs prevents the presentation of the same. The person, feeling without this recognition, may find that their needs are not as great as those of others, “mine can wait”.

      7. Difficulty dealing with frustration and anger

      Feeling without emotional tools to deal with these emotions, the person may choose to ‘swallow’, thus causing the fact that caused them (in this case the need to set a limit) not being handled, choosing to prioritize requests the other.

      8. Experiencing feelings of guilt

      This can be common when we are trying to defend our desires. The person can experience blame for asserting their needs.

      9. Difficulty making decisions

      Deciding requires accepting and rejecting.

      Why does setting limits help us feel better?

      The benefits of self-esteem, social skills and assertiveness management increase, and feelings of inner security improve. All of this is reflected in interpersonal relationships. People around you will know where your limits begin and endThis will have favorable consequences for you and your relationships:

      1. People around you will get to know you better

      Paradoxically, the fact of always giving in to the expectations of others distances us from the people we are with.

      2. Create egalitarian relationships

      This gives them the possibility, and you too, to have relations with them on an equal footing, without having to subordinate them to their mandates.

      3. Promote honest communication

      They will take into account your needs and desires, whatever avoid misunderstandings and promote a sincere relationship based on mutual respect.

      4. Anticipates crises of stress and frustration

      You won’t feel pressured to put the needs of others ahead of your own. It will prevent you from experimenting feelings of stress, frustration, anxiety and distress in personal, family, social and professional relationships.

        5. Extend the life of your relationships

        All of the above will improve the flow of communication in your relationships, increasing the quality and satisfaction with them.

        6. Add consistency to your actions

        Another benefit of knowing and exposing your own limits is that you will create a coherent internal speech, as well as you will feel a coherence between your thoughts, emotions and actions, thus increasing the feeling of control over your life.

        The key is assertiveness

        Knowing how to set limits for others and communicate them correctly can create and reinforce feelings related to autonomy, personal worth, sociability, spontaneity, creativity and personal well-being. It allows to clearly identify and delimit the needs of every moment, making the person feel the protagonist of their choices, thus generating the peace of mind to feel responsible and confident at the stage of life.

        Leave a Comment